I never really stopped missing you. And I just want you to know that. I want you to know that I still think about you every now and then. I still think about you and all of the time that we used to spend together. I still think about all the memories that we used to share.
I really do still miss you. But perhaps I don’t miss you in the sense that I want to get back together with you. I don’t miss you in the sense that I want to try starting up something new with you again. But I do miss you. I miss you like how you would miss a really important person in your life who is just no longer there.
You were so important to me. You really did change me. You helped shape me into the person that I have now become. You helped turn me into the person that I am today. You had that profound of an influence on me. We had a really strong emotional connection.
We loved one another with a very strong passion and intensity. I would be kidding myself if I said that it didn’t really mean much. At that time, I loved you like I never really loved anyone else in my life. And I really miss the way that I loved you. I really miss the way that you used to make me feel. I really miss the way that I used to feel because of the fact that I loved you so much.
But I still do understand why we split up. I understand why we had to go our separate paths. I know why we had to just call it quits on what we walked away. I realize that you and I had so much potential for our relationship. I know that the two of us could have really become something special and worthwhile.
I know that what we had could have been everlasting. I know that what we had was something that could have turned into something so real. But we just couldn’t really live up to the hype. We let a lot of other things just get in between us. We let the pressure of the relationship get to us.
We just took each other for granted and eventually, we abandoned all of our responsibilities in the relationship. We abandoned each other in favor of other pursuits and other people.
There was one moment where you and I were practically everything to one another. And then in the next moment, we just turned into complete strangers. It’s as if we never existed in each other’s lives.
There are some moments wherein I wonder whether I should have tried harder with you. I think about the times I felt you slipping away and I wonder if I should have tried to hold on tighter. There are times wherein I find myself just tossing and turning every night thinking about the many things that I probably should have told you.
But alas, you’re no longer here. I no longer have you around to talk to. Life is going on and I’m just constantly reminded of how nothing in this life is ever going to be permanent.
I am reminded of the fact that change is a universal constant. I know that the many things that I have in my life right now might not be there tomorrow. And that’s exactly what happened with us. We both moved on with our lives. We both went on our separate ways.
However, whenever something good or bad happens, I still find myself wanting to tell you about these things. I feel like you’re the only one who can really understand me.
I feel like you’re the only one I can really open up about a lot of things in life. But I try my best to not admit it to anyone out loud. It’s taking every ounce of strength in me to just keep myself from reaching out to you because I know that that would definitely be a bad idea.
I understand that you and I had our fair share of reasons to not keep our relationship going. Instead of trying to fix the problems in our relationship, we just swept them under a rug. Instead of trying to keep the ship afloat, we just let it sink. And perhaps that’s how things were just supposed to turn out between us.
I really do understand why you and I aren’t in each other’s lives anymore. I understand why we just no longer talk these days. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not allowed to miss you because I really do. I miss you. I miss everything that we were. I miss who I was when I was with you.