It’s practically common knowledge at this point for sex to be a very important aspect of any modern relationship. It’s the pinnacle of physical intimacy and closeness. It’s when you and your partner are able to feel the most connected and in sync – and to get the obvious out of the way, sex is also a lot of fun. However, you also have to know that your relationship’s sex life can be very telling of the state of your relationship as a whole. There are some very subtle tells and signs in the way that you have sex that could indicate some bigger issues that you’re not addressing as a couple. When you’re caught in a very intimate and close situation – such as sex – it can stir up a variety of emotions that may or may not affect your relationship in a negative manner.
When you’re having sex with your significant other, you are bound to have a few thoughts run through your mind; and a lot of these thoughts are involuntary and uncomfortable, but you’re going to have them regardless. When you are having sex, you are allowing yourself o be at your most vulnerable. You have to understand that having sex with your partner is essentially you allowing yourself to let your walls down. And this can both be a good thing; and a bad thing. What this article is going to aim to highlight are the bad thoughts that you might be having as you’re making love with your partner.
If you start to have these uncomfortable thoughts with your partner when you’re having sex, don’t just sweep them under a rug and forget about them. Know that there may be subtle signs and indicators that you need to work through some very serious issues in your relationship. Whenever a problem arises in your relationship, you need to be able to address them right away. You can’t let them fester and grow into something uncontrollable. Talk things out with your partner and find a way to overcome the issues that you face as a couple. Otherwise, you risk losing your relationship completely. And you never want that to happen.
1. “I’m not getting turned on.”
If you aren’t getting turned on by your partner, then that’s a serious problem that you need to be able to address. Perhaps there are issues in the other aspects of your relationship that you haven’t resolved, and it’s these issues that are keeping you from getting sexually stimulated.
2. “I don’t think I look good enough for my partner.”
When you’re in a committed and loving relationship with someone, then you know that your partner is already attracted to you. And if you feel like you aren’t attractive enough for your partner, then you may be dealing with some serious self-esteem issues. And these insecurities could be eating away at your relationship without you knowing it.
3. “I feel like they’re taking this entire thing for granted.”
You always want a partner who is going to be appreciative of who you are and everything that you do in your relationship – especially on a sexual level. If you don’t feel validated, then you know something is wrong.
4. “This makes me feel so uncomfortable.”
You should never have to have sex with your partner if it makes you feel uncomfortable. And that discomfort stems from somewhere. You need to be able to fish that issue out and solve it if you want to have a healthy sex life moving forward.
5. “I’ve already said that I don’t like this position.”
If you’re constantly going to positions even though you’ve already told your partner that you don’t like them, then that could be a sign of selfishness – either on your part or theirs. It shows that neither of you are willing to adjust or meet each other halfway.
6. “I wonder what I have to do tomorrow.”
If you find your mind wandering to your personal tasks and to-do lists even as you’re having sex, then you know the sex isn’t good. Sex is only healthy whenever you are actually living in the moment; when you are being present in the act of making love. If you’re distracted, then it’s unhealthy.
7. “It seems like it’s all about my partner.”
When you feel like you are never the star when you’re making love, then that’s a serious issue. It’s not that you want the spotlight all of the time. It’s not that you want to be selfish. But you just don’t like it that your partner seems to be the one who is always taking control; to the point where your own wants and needs aren’t being met.
8. “I want to know if this is good for them.”
You are always having to wonder what your partner is feeling in sex. And if that’s the case, it is likely that that carries over to other aspects of your relationship as well. And that’s not a good thing. You always need to be honest with one another about what’s on your mind and in your heart.