Sometimes, relationships don’t end up working because of unmet expectations. Either two things are to blame in this scenario: the relationship for not living up the expectations, or the expectations that were just set too high. Make sure that you’re not the type of girl who instigates the latter. You shouldn’t be setting exceedingly high expectations for your boyfriends.
When you do that, you’re only setting yourself up for failure. Before you get into a relationship with someone, you have to be able to get to know them well and understand the kind of person that you’re getting close to. You don’t have the right to get to know a guy, and then expect him to turn into a completely different guy once you’re in a relationship together. Personalities don’t work like that.
Life doesn’t work like that. A lot of times when you meet a guy, what you see is what you get. Yes, you can get to know him better, but he can only show you more of who he really is the deeper you can get into the relationship. You can’t possibly turn him into someone he’s not.
Stop treating your boyfriend like a school project. Yes, you’re right. He’s not perfect. He has his flaws. He has his imperfections. But so do you. How would you feel if he started treating you like a project of his own fantasies? It’s little doubt that you would take it lightly. You should be able to respect a person’s individuality.
It’s okay to ask him to make little improvements here and there. It’s only natural for everyone to want to get better every day. That’s part of life. Striving to make subtle developments in life here and there. But it’ totally unreasonable for you to ask him to live up to your own personal fantasies of the type of man that he should be like. He deserves better than that. He deserves more respect as a man and as a human being. No one should ever be forced to become who they’re not meant to be.
If you go into a relationship having a mindset of ownership over someone else, then things are certainly not going to end well for either of you. You are both your own selves who are trying to make your own ways in this very complicated world.
Love is about acceptance and compromise. You should be able to accept the entirety of his being. If you love him at his best, then you should also love him at his worst. You have to able to love the best parts of who he is and live with the parts of him that you aren’t particularly fond of. That’s called compromise. In the same way, you have to be able to compromise some of your outlandish fantasies and realize that he is only human.
He can’t possibly know what you want unless you tell him. And even then, it’s never a sure thing that he’ll always be able to provide you what you want. That’s how relationships work. There will always be some disappointments and speed bumps along the way, but that’s what will help you appreciate the good times even more. Sometimes, the man that’s standing right in front of you will be better than the man of your dreams. He’s real.
He’s right there. He’s full of love that he’s ready to give to you and only you. Learn to stop daydreaming about what you don’t have and start appreciating what’s already in your life.
Love him for who he is and not just who you want him to be. Relationships are about a lot of giving and take. However, if you find that he’s acting in a way that you don’t like, then you should call him out on it. If he’s being a bad person, let him know. If he’s acting rude and selfish, then you should tell him that he should cut it out. Being accepting doesn’t mean that you should be a pushover either.
If you think that he’s losing direction and system in his life, then you should do your best to guide him on the right path. The point here is that you’re not necessarily trying to change him into a completely different person. What you must do is help him become the best possible version of himself. Once you work as a team and develop in love and in life together, there will be no stopping you.
You can only go as far as you both are willing to go. Always be understanding of each other’s limitations. Support each other’s goals and dreams. Always be his number one cheerleader especially when he’s going through tough times. Pick him up when he’s done. Tell him you’re proud of him. Tell him you love him. And you’ll find you’ll be in a much happier place in your relationship than ever before.
