Love Is Never Going To Be a Permanent Thing, And That’s Okay

The real face of love is going to be so much different from the love that we’re made to watch on the silver screen.

A lot of people are going to ask themselves why things turn out a certain way especially when things turn out in ways that they don’t expect. As human beings, when unfortunate events befall us, we tend to look for something or someone to blame. We look to the universe and we ask why it chose to deliver these trials and these hardships unto our paths. We ask the universe why it designed for someone to walk into our lives, to win over our hearts, and to break it by leaving. 

Do we really deserve all of the sadness and emotional trauma that comes with heartbreak? What could we ever do that would warrant such a horrible feeling? If the universe was only trying to teach us a valuable lesson, couldn’t it have taught us this lesson in a more humane and less painful manner?

But that’s just the thing. Sometimes, we are forced to go through these heart-wrenching emotional experiences in order to really understand that perhaps we had flawed expectations and perspectives since the start. 

Everything that we’re exposed to in the world tells us that love is something beautiful that it’s an absolute necessity in our lives. And so we try to pursue love to the best of our abilities. We meet someone and we fall hard for that person. And if we’re lucky enough, that person ends up falling in love with us too. And everything goes smoothly, but reality doesn’t seem to match our expectations. It’s as if everything that we’re feeling now doesn’t seem to coincide with the magical experience that was promised to us. And so we end up questioning ourselves and we question the love that we’re in. We start to wonder if this is really what love is like and if everything we’ve been led to believe is a lie. 

We start to wonder if love really is something that equates to happiness, fulfilment, and meaning. We start to wonder if love will be able to give us the kind of safety and security that we’ve all been looking for. We will question if love really is enough to sustain the relationship that seems so mediocre; the relationship that seems so underwhelming. 


But that’s just the thing. Love was never designed to give people clarity. Love was never designed to be a eureka moment. Love is never going to be black and white. Love is multiple shades of gray and more. Love doesn’t have a meaning and value in itself. It’s us who give love some kind of value and meaning. It’s us who are the ones who determine whether love is beautiful or not. Love is never going to promise anyone a sense of happiness and joy. Love is not something that will be able to give you a sense of safety or security. And lastly, love alone will never be able to sustain a relationship. 

On the contrary, love can bring a lot of people anxiety and insecurity. Love has the power to bring a lot of people healthy doses of uncertainty. Love can blind a lot of people from the truth. Love has the power to mislead and misdirect people from making the right decisions in life. Love isn’t going to be a sole source of happiness. Love can also be the cause of peoples’ deep traumas and pains. Love can be the reason for a person’s heartache.  Love can bring lots of sadness and gloom into a person’s life. 

The real face of love is going to be so much different from the love that we’re made to watch on the silver screen. It’s going to be different from the kind of love that we read about in our fictional books. The real face of love is going to be very different from the kind of love that feels magical and perfect all the time. Love is raw. Love is unfiltered. Love is dirty. Love is something that has a track record for breaking people in half even though it has the power to also propel people to greatness. And that’s part of the beauty of love. That’s the part of love that we have to learn to appreciate. That’s the part of love that we have to learn to accept. 

So while love continues to bring us a lot of certainty, there is one thing about love that we can always be sure of: it promises us nothing. We aren’t entitled to love. We aren’t entitled to having love work in the ways that we want it to work. We don’t get to choose how love is going to begin or end. And that’s okay. We just have to accept the love that comes knocking on our door. And we have to learn to let go of the love that wants to leave us.

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