Psychologists Advise AGAINST Staying Friends With Exes

Relationships aren’t always built to last forever. There are a few relationships out there that exhibit strength, stability, and consistency. But there are also some relationships that are just destined to fade into the sunset. And when you decide that a relationship just isn’t a right fit for you, you make a decision to end things.

You decide to walk away from your partner and the relationship. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re going to want to completely lose someone who once served as a very important part of your life. That’s why you want to explore the idea of actually just staying friends with your ex even after the breakup.

Well, it might seem like a good idea on paper but that might not be the best option for you to take in real life. This is the advice given by various experts and psychologists who specialize in relationship and breakup dynamics.

1. This is what happens when you remain friends with an ex.

Nina Atwood, a famed author, and expert believes that being friends with an ex might actually cause a lot of emotional turmoil in your life. Whenever people remain friends with exes, it’s likely that it’s because they don’t want there to be a bitter breakage between them and their former lovers.

Typically, these people are also afraid of having to face a life without the people who once meant so much to them; the people who they really shared deep and intimate bonds with.

But one might assume that even though you have just lost the safety and security of being in a relationship with a person, the sense of comfort and attachment are still going to be there.

That’s why it’s only natural that someone would not want to lose another person entirely. And that’s really where the problem rests. It makes it almost impossible to just get rid of and overcome the feeling of loss and regret that you might have with an ex.

You might have a few mixed feelings regarding past memories and you will have difficulty overcoming them and making sense of everything if you’re still going to allow yourself to stay attached.

2. It’s only going to make things worse for you.

Lindsay Kriger is a relationship expert and she has a lot to say on this matter. The specialist postulates that being friends with an ex is only going to worsen the connection and ties between the two of you.

In most cases, it is just a lot better for you to forget and move on from one another to the best of your abilities. You don’t want to be holding on to any traces of past memories or shared engagements with this individual.

It would definitely be much better for you to say that sometimes, staying connected to a person who you were once in love with is definitely going to breed a different kind of pressure on you.

And that pressure might not always be the healthy kind. You are at risk of feeling discouraged when it comes to branching out and putting yourself out there again. You might be too afraid to put the idea of falling in love with another person back on the table. If you persist in keeping your ex in mind, then it might be the reason why you’re still not moving forward.

There will be a few times wherein you will end up comparing your new potential partners to your ex because they still continue to linger in your mind. And that’s only going to make things infinitely worse for you. You’re going to be subconsciously finding faults in your new partners that might be consistent with your previous partner’s.

3. Moving on and getting over.

One of the biggest problems that anyone is ever going to have to go through in this life is having to get over an ex. You always think about your old relationship and the memories just keep on coming back to you. You might keep on entertaining thoughts of giving your old relationship another shot.

You might delude yourself into thinking that things are just bound to get better between the two of you. However, you have to realize that the strongest and healthiest relationships are the only ones that don’t break. If you were truly meant to stay together, then you would be. But if things just don’t work out, then that should tell you that it just isn’t a right fit.

And even if you do decide on giving your relationship another chance because you think it’s the smart and brave thing to do, you are only going to be setting yourself up for disappointment. It’s likely that you aren’t going to make it last and it’s only going to make the process of moving on and getting over a lot more difficult than it really should be.

By Relationship Rules

Relationship Rules is my ideology of love. It's a concept of emotion and oneness. Check out my book - "50 Rules of a Relationship" here.

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