It was a relationship that was filled with so much love and affection. I really couldn’t find anything to complain about. I couldn’t have been happier. And I know that it wasn’t just my doing. I am not even going to try to take sole credit for how good we had it in our relationship.
She was just as much a part of making our relationship so full of fun and joy. She had quite a personality. She was always so funny. There was never a shortage of laughter in the time we spent together. She was so physically beautiful – I could just stare at her for days.
She was so caring and thoughtful. She always made me feel like I was being taken care of. But despite all of that, I still cheated on her. Even though she was practically the best girl I would ever know, I still cheated on her. I was still unfaithful. But I firmly believe that she deserves it.
She wasn’t really a sports fan but she would always cuddle up with me on the couch whenever the game was on. She would watch the game with me even though she didn’t really understand what was going on. She would even cheer for a team every once in a while. Why was she pretending to be so into something that I know she wasn’t even remotely interested in? Why was she being so fake and pretentious?
I never found myself watching an episode of Gilmore Girls with her. I never forced myself to be interested in something just because she happened to like it. But that’s what she was doing for me. She was really accepting all of my likes and she genuinely tried to enjoy them all with me.
She would always tell me that it was because she wanted to spend more time with me; that she always had fun with me regardless of what we were doing. And I think this is something that girls really do all the time. But for me, I always like to keep it real.
We had bee dating for a few years already and her love and passion for me never wavered. She was always so eager to celebrate every single birthday, anniversary, or milestone whenever she had the opportunity to do so. She would always splurge on expensive gifts for me and she somewhat expected me to do the same. She would tell me that she wouldn’t want anything, of course.
But I could always tell that she was expecting something special from me because that’s just the kind of girl she was. She always put a lot of meaning and attention to those kinds of things. And I hated it. I hated how she couldn’t just admit that. I hated how much needless work and effort she was putting into our relationship. I hated it because that meant that she would be expecting me to do the same. And I just wasn’t willing to do so. I just didn’t want to do that.
She was the kind of girl who knew what kind of colors would look good on me. She paid a lot of attention to how I did my hear. She would wait up really late at night for me whenever I had to finish something at work. She was always so willing to do things that no one else ever really did for me. She was always exceeding my expectations. She was every single girl in the world to me. She was a lover, a friend, a mother, a teacher, a cheerleader, a boss.
She was everything I needed her to be whenever the situation called for it. Okay, I understand that it was sweet of her to be all those of those things to me. But I never really asked her to be. I never NEEDED her to be any of those things in the strictest sense of the word. Why am I supposed to validate efforts that I didn’t want or need in the first place? I never asked her to do those things and so why should I show my gratitude or appreciation.
But you shouldn’t take that to mean that I wasn’t in love with my girl. I was head over heels in love with her. However, I still cheated on her. Why? Because she stopped being the girl that I fell in love with. She stopped being herself in favor of being someone who she believed was the ideal girl for me. But I didn’t want an idea. I wanted her. Take this as a lesson for yourself. Always stay true to who you are. Never lose your true sense of self just for the sake of a relationship.
