This hits home so deeply!
There’s no getting around it. You are going to suffer in this life. And while that may be a bleak lens by which to look at the world. It doesn’t have to be. Pain is what makes you grow. It’s what teaches you valuable lessons that you really need to learn. It’s through suffering and adversity where we really learn to harden ourselves up. And once you grow to accept that suffering is going to be a constant in this life, the better your approach to overcoming suffering will be in the bigger picture.
The more feelings and emotions that you invest into another person, the more power that they have to actually cause some serious damage to you. You are essentially opening yourself up more and more to getting hurt by these people. You are setting yourself up to be greatly disappointed by them in the long run. You allow yourself to get so attached to people and relationships; and the more attached you get, the more heartbroken you are going to become when things start crumbling to the ground.
That’s why the old cliché still rings true today. The things that have the power to bring us the most happiness in life are also the things that can cause us our greatest sorrows. And that’s just the plain truth of it all. The more we grow to love something; the more power it has to hurt us in the long run. But that doesn’t mean we have to let the fear of getting hurt keep us from wanting to love someone else. Because at the end of the day, even though the people will love will be in the best position to cause us the greatest pain, we love them anyway; we choose to take that risk for the sake of love.
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You are never going to find that love will walk into your life without having any risks of pain, suffering, disappointment or abandonment attached to it. In fact, on the road to love itself, you are going to have to deal with lots of suffering. It’s not always going to be happiness and joys. It’s not always going to be pure bliss and ecstasy. Love in its purest form is imperfect. And that’s what makes love real – and that’s also what makes love so beautiful. Because the most beautiful things are always the ones we are most willing to suffer for.
You are never going to fall in love with someone if you’ve only see the good parts of them. You are never going to fall in love with someone if you blind yourself to the parts of their personality that you don’t like. You are never going to fall in love with someone unless they reveal all aspects of who they are to you; even the parts that might hurt you. Because in love, there can be no filters. There can be no safety nets. There can be no rose-colored glasses. Love is clear and it should never be blinding. Love is real and it should never be deceiving. You can’t trick your own mind into believing that love will be without its painful and uncomfortable parts. Sometimes, love is going to deliver you the kind of pain that just demands to be felt. And you will be helpless to that situation.
But that kind of helplessness isn’t something that you should shy away from. To some extent, you must always allow yourself to be vulnerable if you really want to love. It’s all really just a matter of making sure that you know what you’re doing and you know who you’re doing it for. It all boils down in determining whether the love is worth the risk. And sometimes it is, and sometimes it isn’t. But the self-discovery involved in learning through these experiences is what makes love so valuable. It forces you to confront things about yourself that you wouldn’t normally think about. Love forces you to really discover what it is you’re looking for and what it is you’re unwilling to tolerate. Love is going to force you to discover so much about yourself no matter how uncomfortable it might be.
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Ultimately, through the thick and thin of it all, love isn’t a walk in the park – it’s so much more than that. It’s a high-speed chase through the highways of hell. It’s a steep climb to the summit of Everest. It’s the slow and grueling wade through the waters of the Pacific. But somehow, these struggles don’t faze you at all. Because you also know that once you get past all of these minor inconveniences, you discover love in its purest form. And when you do that, everything will have been worth it.
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If you enjoyed reading this, you’ll love our new mini-book! my journey to self-discovery. “From Hating My Life to Loving Every Minute” is my own memoir, my own experiences jotted down on paper. Will you let yourself be happy?
“Moving! If I could give this book 6 stars out of 5, I would have!” – Christopher Ell