You know the girl in question. She’s the one who’s calling you on your phone right now, but you choose to deliberately let it ring out because you’re too bothered to actually pause your video game. This is the girl who pours her heart and soul to you in a text message and you don’t even have the courtesy to give her a reply that’s worth more than 5 measly words. This is the girl who spends an entire week looking forward to the date that you have scheduled for Saturday night only to have you abruptly cancel on her on the last minute and you don’t even bother to give her a reason why. This is the girl who wants nothing more than to spend some time with you, but you still consistently choose to go for a night with drinking with your friends over her. This is the girl whose ideas you constantly shut down even though she’s just looking for an opening to get closer and more intimate with you. This is the girl who would willingly wait for you but who you would never have the patience for. This is the girl who you never seem to have the answers for only more and more questions.
You’ve had girls like this one before. This isn’t a new social experience to you. You don’t find yourself in an unfamiliar situation. You’ve kept quite a few girls on your leash before, but there’s something significantly different about this girl. She isn’t one who is just going to get fed up and walk away. She will willingly allow herself to be kept on a leash for you. This isn’t a girl who will latch herself to the next guy she meets in the hopes that she eventually forgets about you. She isn’t going to grow bitter and curse you out for treating her like absolute crap. She isn’t the kind of girl who will say that you aren’t worthy of her love and then proceed to find someone else who actually is. She’s different. She’s going to keep at it. She is going to continue to chase after you. She is going to maintain the hope that you eventually develop the kind of feelings for that she has always been secretly hoping you have had since the start. She isn’t the kind of girl who would give up so easily. She is the kind of girl who will cling to whatever chances she think she might have to still win you over to actually get you to feel about her the way that she feels about you.
She has plenty of naysayers whispering into her ear. They tell her that she deserves better. They tell her that she’s fighting a losing battle and she needs to focus her energy into more worthwhile adventures. They tell her that you are a cancer to her life and that she needs to cut you loose. She will tell them that you’re still worth the fight. She will make excuses on your behalf. She will tell them that you’re still having to deal with lots of issues and that you just need more time. She will tell them that she just needs to be patient with you. She will try to convince herself that if she sticks to her beliefs about you, everything is going to pay off for her in the long run. She will tell herself that this pain is only temporary and that a life of perpetual bliss is essentially just around the corner.
She is going to take your ambiguity as a positive instead of a turn off. She isn’t going to see your noncommittal nature as a bad thing. She will see it as an opportunity for her to turn a maybe into a definitive yes. She will think to herself that as long as you don’t shut the door on her completely, she will keep on trying to find her way into your heart. She will be willing to go through all of the crap that you leave out for her for the chance that she gets to get a speck of kindness and love from you.
But you will make the mistake of taking her for granted. You will be wrong to assume that you can keep on leading her on like this for as long as you want. You are deluded to think that she won’t get fed up with this kind of behavior and that she would willingly tolerate this kind of treatment from you. One day, you are going to push her over the edge and she will not wanting to do with you anymore. And when that happens, you will then realize how you let the best thing in your life slip right through your fingers.