Wife Asks What to Do About Husband Being Sad Over the Death of His Mistress

We’ve come across some pretty strange stories, but this one is a bit different. It’s about a wife who’s caught in a traumatizing situation – her husband is saddened because his mistress passed away. Not only did the wife find out two days after the mistress’ death, but her husband also told her that the woman was pregnant. Yep, it goes all over the place.

The Story

The original story has been shared all over social media so it’s hard to find the source for this. But, from one of the more shared tweets, here is the wife’s sad and strange predicament:

“Three months ago, the woman who was having an affair with my husband died suddenly from an accident. I found out about the affair only two days after her funeral. I thought she was simply a co worker and I was wondering why my husband was so disturbed and emotional. He quit his job saying it was too traumatic to go back to work. She was in the early weeks of pregnancy when she died and my husband doesn’t know whether he or the husband was the father. So on top of everything he’s also grieving for a baby that may or may not be his.”

“I find it extremely difficult to be emotionally supportive when he wakes up at 3 am crying and trembling yet I don’t have the heart to yell at him like I want to,” she continued. “He says she’s dead so there’s no reason for me to feel jealous or threatened and asks for my understanding as he grieves. We’ve barely talked these last few weeks because I don’t know how to respond to my husband when he cries and says he misses her and wishes she were here., then also how much he loves and that he never intended to leave me.”

“I asked him to visit a marriage therapist together and he said he’s ‘not ready’ to work on our marriage, and thinks he needs to see a grief therapist instead. Do I need to give him time to mourn the loss of his mistress? Or should I demand he focus on our marriage?”

This is such a heartbreaking position to be in for the wife. Not only did she find out that her husband was cheating on her with his co-worker, but that the co-worker was also pregnant. It’s not sure whether the co-worker was pregnant with her husband’s baby or the poster’s husband’s baby – but it’s traumatizing all the same.

And now, her husband can’t work, he’s overtaken with sorrow, and he needs support from his wife. What would a loving wife do in this situation? No, this isn’t about love. In this story, we truly hope this wife saves herself from this terrible situation and moves on with her life. She doesn’t owe her husband any emotional support in this situation.

Share Your Thoughts

What are your thoughts on this wife’s incredibly difficult situation? Speak your mind in the comments below!

33 comments
    1. Thatvis what the narcisdit wants. She will be stuck forever. When we are emotionally involves, we can’t think logically. That is why he is playing victim. She should not fall for that. She should leave him and such toxic environment ASAP. Life is short to fall for such crap.

  1. I’d dump his a**! He’s not worthy and she could never trust him again! I certainly would NOT feel sorry for him! I’m sure it would be hard but she needs to cut him off!

    1. yes! for her own mental health….drop him like a hot potato! she doesn’t need to share in his misery. she should tell him to pray to God for some help and guidance.

  2. First hing is I will pray for ALL of them! I have a hard time even wrapping my brain around this. I consider myself very empathetic and I cant imagine what I would do. I would say to this women that I commend your promise to God to love for better or worse, and well we all know how that goes. I think I would just let go and let God. I think I would have to leave although I would be available for some of his grief. I mean you feel better about yourself when you go with your gut. Obviously she wants to work it out if she is seeking therapy. No matter what he does, she should still seek counseling. It may help her work through it for herself. Because, in the end. That is what it really comes down to. Can she move forward without any regrets. I know one thing.
    “Once a mirror has a crack. You can NOT ever look at that Mirror the same again. It will forever have a crack.

    May God take the lead of this situation and help guide all of you to whatever God has planned for you all. Pray to Him and most importantly. Listen! He will tell you.
    God bless and I send blessings your way!

  3. If I were in your shoes, I WOULD BE DEVASTATED.
    It’ll be hard for me but I will walk away. End of story.
    If he loves you and afraid to lose you, why did he cheated? Aren’t you enough? What’s missing in your relationship that he has to look elsewhere?

  4. At what point was the husband going to tell her he was having an affair with his coworker/mistress? He mentioned he loves her and has no intention of leaving but then goes on to say that he should not be jealous bc the mistress is dead. Did he forget he’s married? She needs to cut ties with him even if he’s mourning. Somewhere down the line he will do it again. And she deserves more than what he’s given her.

  5. Once a cheater always a cheater!! My x-husband of 20 years cheated…… we had a gorgeous 5 bedroom 4.5 baths home
    3 car garage with a detached 2 car garage that was a finished gym – which I trained in. (4 beautiful children) I dumped him. All the women he has been with after me…… he has cheated on ………all the while asking me to let’s try again!! You deserve so much better. Don’t waste one more year, month,week,day, minute or sec on him!! Value yourself and know what your love is worth!!

  6. The decision to leave is never easy no matter what the situation. He is grieving right now and wants you to comfort him because he is feeling vulnerable. I think when he starts feeling better he may not respect you for trying to make it work and possibly do it again. It is you that is going to feel the worst outcome of this no matter what. Only you know your situation though and only you can make that decision. It’s not a matter of you feeling jealous of his dead lover, it’s the fact that he disregarded you and betrayed your relationship. The fact that he isn’t ready to work on your marriage because he is too sad has been an indicator of what to expect now and in the future. I wish you luck!

  7. Well um sorry but I won’t nurse dis nonsense! Either de so called hubby chooses to mourn his mistress alone out of our matrimonial home or he starts accepting the fact dat he ll mit his mistress in hell awaiting fo him. It’s high time des men respects our feelings!

  8. For me, I’ll leave his sorry a** and let him grieve alone. This may sound selfish for some but cheating is cheating. And as per reading the story, he’s ready to leave her. And the big fact is that the mistress also has a husband. If they are both not morons then I don’t know what. A man who cheats for the 1st time will cheat again. So go girl move on! Also, he quit his job??? For what? He didn’t think of you in all those times and now he isn’t ready yet to make your marriage work.

  9. He cheated on wife. He is a cheat. If he had not been caughty he would keep on cheating and even have baby with another woman. As a strong woman there is not point remaining married with him. Divorce him. If wad not cought, he might be maintaining both the relationships and you,d be loving a cheat. He will cheat 100% in future. A man who can shamelessly tell there is no point to call him a cheat is not even a human being. Dear he doesn’t deserve anyone.
    Logically he had not guilt cheating wife and now telling she should not take it as cheating but mourning death of other woman means he already had ended a marriage from his side (even he hasn’t walked waya, he he would never too).
    He is not ashamed of himself. He is a NARCISSIST. You have dignity and self respect so RUN AWAY ASAP.

  10. leave him he didn’t care about you when he was having sex with her he doesn’t love you and him saying he needs you to be supportive is BS walk away and find someone better he wishes she was still here means he would of kept cheating on you and not give a damn about you and your feelings and i hope her husband knows she was cheating so he can move on easy and not feel sad

  11. He has already separated himself from his marriage, and is now relying on his wife to wait till his grieving or mourning period is over. his wife is obviously not the one he wants. and so she should insist on marriage counselling to ascertain whether he wants to save yhe marriage and find some answers to some unanswered question or divorce and she should move on with her life.

  12. In the Bible, God allows for a woman to divorce her husband for one reason, adultery. That is how great an offense that is to a wife and a marriage. I hope she gets counseling for herself and separates from her husband and most likely ends up divorcing him. And please, no pity, no letting him off the hook for maintenance and child support if there are children. My husband’s mistress was cocaine (though he did sleep with another woman once). Our whole family went through drug treatment programs with him three times. And then we let him go.

  13. wow just hereing your story and reading all these coments take what people are saying and ‘ run with it ‘ f**k that you deserve better……. i will have to pray for you on this one good luck to you …

  14. why would you want this man in your bed and why are you making their problems your own? she isn’t a threat because she’s dead? huh? what if she would have lived? The emotional cheating is enough for him to take a hike. He isn’t mourning you, honey… he needs to go.

  15. What an “A”hole.
    He quits his job over his mistress, proving she was more important than being the provider for his spouse.
    His wife offers a solution to keep the marriage together and he rejects her because his grief is too big over his mistress.
    He asks for support on the grief, showing her, he really could careless about him wronging his wife.
    Where’s the consideration for the wife through all this? If he wouldn’t have stepped out on the vows, then there would be nothing to grieve.
    Kick him to the curve, he is a selfish worthless man.

  16. He appears to using narcissistic tactics (although I don’t know anything other than what was told), trying to make his wife feel guilty for not supporting him and for being upset about the cheating, even though she is “no longer a threat”. Whether she is still in the picture or not is not the point. He’s trying to avoid any blame by focusing on his grief and need for sympathy, and expecting everyone else to focus on those as well. Instead of accepting the consequences of his actions and caring what his wife is feeling, he’s selfishly focusing on himself to delay facing consequences. Just the thoughts off the top of my head. I’d get out NOW!

  17. Maybe she should find the mistress husband and marry him. Then their would be two less hurting people in the world.

  18. Where do you fit in with HIS feelings? Does he care that he has HURT you by betraying your marriage vows? How long do you think he will grieve over this woman and do you think he will start to resent that YOU are alive and she is dead? My advice is to leave him because he doesn’t regard you and your love as #1 in his life and you should not settle for second place, which you will always be! He needs help with his grief and I believe you should not be the one to give it to him. He needs Proffessional help. He did not have you or your marriage in mind when he quit his job, so where is the income for the bills going to come from—YOU because he is too “devastated” to work” Remember he broke your vows, not you and that is the one thing that God recognizes as breaking vows. If you don’t want a divorce then separate, give yourself time to think without him draining you emotionally and allow yourself time to feel if you love him enough to forgive and see where the future takes you or if you would rather find someone who would love you 100%!!! Also let him know you are strong and don’t have to settle being second best and worry if you will always (ALWAYS) BE SECOND BEST. God Bless you.

  19. It’s a wrap. He’s got to go. He can grieve all he wants. For as long as he wants but, I won’t be waiting around for him to get better.

  20. I think I’d either have him stay elsewhere or go myself until emotions die down. Let him fully see what it is like not to have you OR your support..that’s just too much to ask. Go to counseling for yourself and tell him to go get one..you are not his counselor.

  21. He should at least have the decency to grieve in private. Suck it up. You’re wife is devastated by your actions. What a selfish a hole! He can’t put you first. Let him grieve alone. He’s disgusting!

  22. This marriage is over. The wife must just love herself enough to let go and start afresh. There’s nothing here

  23. Dear Wife, It is wonderful that you are still considering his feelings. He is missing and grieving someone that he loved a lot. As an individual, I hope that he gets some support to get through his grief. However, that support cannot come from you. I can accept, maybe that he still “loves” you, but he has already checked out of the marriage. You helping him through anything else, maybe. You helping him through this? NO.
    Love is not enough to make marriage work. The trust you placed in him is gone and irretrievable. Commitment is required and he has left that behind long ago.
    Love yourself and move on.

  24. At no point has he made you the priority. This all seems to be about him and what he wants making you feel like you are not enough during this whole process. You are hurt and can’t heal because it’s all about him. You are enough and you deserve better. Let him go because he let you go a long time ago. He is gone.

  25. No need to be a support of such a cheating hubby.Let him come out of this trauma on his own and u move on with ur life.This man can’t be trusted again.

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