A healthy sense of humor is important for healthy relationships – the vital part here being “healthy.” When humor crosses boundaries or uses traumatic events of the past, it’s in very bad taste and should be avoided at all costs. Such is the sad story of today’s wife whose husband “joked” about her birth experience.
“…I feel so embarrassed.”
“I f25 gave birth to my daughter weeks ago, My experience was pretty traumatic and since it was my first, I had no clue what to expect. Forgive me for the vague details for privacy but I’ll mention all the relevant stuff, I promise.”
“When I went into labor I had the most difficult time of my life, I was in pain for hours. My mom was with me but she had to go and my husband was with me the entire time. I did something so embarrassing in the delivery room, I pooped myself which was unexpected and just…I don’t know but it was embarrassing and although my medical team were very professional about it, my husband couldn’t help himself and started laughing about it later and even telling my family about it but they didn’t react, just didn’t find it funny and neither did I, In fact, I found it embarrassing and I already told him to stop bringing it up especially when he started joking about getting me diapers for my ‘opsies!!’. It got really tiring and chipped away from my selfesteem and confidence.”
“We were with his parents celebrating new year’s eve together when I excused myself to the bathroom. while I was getting up he made a quick remark and said “oh yeah, you should go quickly because we don’t want any accidents just like the one we had at the hospital, you know what I mean?” While blinking at me. His family actually laughed and BIL commented “good one!”. I was astonished and so angry and ashamed, I literally just lost it on him and yelled at the top of my lungs calling him a cruel insensitive jerk to be using the difficult experience of birthing his child as a joking matter and humiliating me infront of everybody. He was shocked, staring back at me and not saying a word. All went silent and I just stormed off to the bathroom til we left and that was when he snapped saying I messed up by talking to him like that infront of his family during dinner, I said I couldn’t hold my tongue for that long and after he kept joking about an embarrassing thing when I told him to stop. he said he was just joking and I went overboard with my reaction and also, I should’ve sucked it up and waited til we got home so we could address this privately and I could even yell at him as long as I wanted. We argued about it after we got home and he kept saying I humiliated him infront of his family during the celebratory evening by being petty and trying to one up him… He even said I should’ve laughed along not fly off the handle liks that.”
“Did I overreact?”
Everyone on Reddit showed massive support to this woman for what she did. For context, NTA means “Not the A**hole.” Here are some of the best comments she received:
“NTA. What a cruel and immature joke to make, ask him to push a watermelon out his d**k and see if he can do it without any ’embarrassing accidents’. If you had addressed this in private he would’ve said the same thing: you’re emotional and overreacting. He did it in front of his parents and family to corner you. This behavior needs to get nipped ASAP”
“Women release bowels during labor ALL the time, you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.”
“NTA for getting mad, but you will be if you raise babies with this kind of person”
“He is not a jokester. He knows this hurts you and does it anyway AND THEN HE YELLED AT YOU FOR IT. Please tell me you see how messed up this is?”
“This is how he will treat your child. Tease them with his ‘jokes’ until they cry and then yell at them for not liking the torment.”
“NTA. I had the same thing happen when I gave birth to my first. The only thing different, my husband never mentioned it once.”
This post has over 4000 comments, you can read them all on Reddit here.
Absolutely NTA. Her husband needs to grow up and be more considerate of what women go through during childbirth. This is a massive red flag, not a joke. We hope her husband learns from this scolding.
What’s your take on this woman’s story? Share your thoughts in the comments below.