This is what I learned after my toxic relationship…
Toxic relationships can be really rough. They often leave the people involved feeling emotionally vulnerable and exhausted. Sometimes, people can even be traumatized by the whole experience. That’s because toxic relationships demand so much from people; sometimes, even more than they can actually give. Couples who get caught in toxic relationships feel like they have to work double time to make their relationship work and yet it never does. They devote twice as much effort as other people do into their relationships. They invest so much of themselves into a failing romance and in the end when things don’t work out, they are left particularly broken and devastated.
However, like any setback in life, it should always be seen as a learning experience. There can be some good that comes out of being in a toxic relationship. It doesn’t always have to be all bad. If you have just recently been caught in a toxic relationship, it would be understandable for you to have difficulties getting over it. Just know that the struggle is a necessary aspect of moving on. Learn from your mistakes and grow to become a better and more developed human being.
1. The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.
You always have to learn how to love yourself. You have to learn and discover more about who you are as a person before you can actually find success in relationships. You have to set for your expectations for your relationships and your partner. And you must never settle for anything less than you think you actually deserve.
2. You must always stand up for yourself.
Stand your grand. It’s okay for you to demand for more in the relationship. If you are being treated badly, you should know that it’s okay for you to fight back. There is nothing wrong with standing up for yourself. You should always be brave. You should always have the courage to fight for your place in the relationship.
3. Obsession doesn’t always equate to love.
You have now learned to make the distinction between the two. You have now learned how to distinguish between mere obsession and true love. You know that obsessive behavior can be unhealthy, toxic, and suffocating. On the other hand, love will always feel safe, nurturing, and organic.
4. Relationships should never be one-sided.
One-sided love is not something you should be settling for. You should only choose to be in a relationship wherein you receive just as much as you give. It shouldn’t always have to be you who is giving. Relationships are always about a give and take. That’s the essence of making a commitment to another person.
5. Partners in love should always be looking to build each other up.
The best kinds of couples are those who always try to build each other up. They push their partners to become better people. They are always encouraging each other to work hard and find success in life. They understand that the success of one is the success of both. They would never try to pull each other down.
6. Always trust your instincts.
Most of the time, your instincts will prevail. Your gut is almost never wrong. You should always learn to listen to your gut feeling. If there are red flags early on in the relationship, you shouldn’t be forcing the issue. You shouldn’t be trying to salvage an unsalvageable union.
7. Love should never have to feel forced.
Love should always feel natural and organic. It doesn’t necessarily have to feel comfortable a hundred percent of the time. Love can be uncomfortable at times but you just know if it’s the right kind of discomfort. Love should never be something that you have to compel yourself to do. It should never have to feel like a chore or a duty.
8. You always deserve to be loved and you shouldn’t settle for anything less.
There is no point in settling for a relationship wherein you don’t feel loved. The point of falling in love with a person is in being able to feel and experience that love in return. If you’re stuck in a relationship that doesn’t afford you that emotional luxury, then it’s not a relationship worth staying in.
9. You are going to veer away from people who resemble your ex.
Any reminder of your ex is going to drive you away. You don’t want any piece of that action anymore. You’ve been around the block and you don’t ever want to go back. That’s why whenever you encounter new people who remind you of your ex, you’re just going to walk away. You don’t want to have to go through that kind of stress again.
10. You are the master of your own fate.
You have full ownership of your life. You control your destiny. You don’t have to stay stuck if you don’t want to. You always have the choice. You can always make a conscious decision to have a better life than the one that you’re living now.
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Have you been in a toxic relationship? What did you learn from it? Let me know in the comments below!