12 toxic behaviors that push people away from you
If you want to change attitudes, start with a change in behavior William Glasser
Mood swings aren’t limited to hormonal women alone. Everyone experiences them every now and then. How often have you heard someone apologize for their inappropriate behavior, using the I was in a mood’ line? Often enough right. Life is tough, not just for you, but for every single person. Maybe not in the same way it is difficult for you. Things don’t always work out the way you want them too. And there are people who put you in a mood by simply existing. But, if you allow all this negativity to engulf you and to profess in your behavior, you’re not only harming yourself but everyone around you as well. Toxic behaviors will push people away. You yourself avoid toxic people, don’t you?
1. Being jealous of practically everyone!
Firstly, you should be grateful for all the good things in your life. That way you’ll never feel the need to compare your life with anyone else’s. Secondly, there shouldn’t be any need for comparison. Consider your family, let alone anyone else. Isn’t your life different than your siblings? It definitely is. Because you all want different things from life, your journeys are entirely different and even though you’re related, each and every one of you has a distinct personality. There is no ground for comparison. Thirdly, even if there is something someone has that you want, instead of turning green with envy, focus on working for it. You’re only using your time in a better way and as a result, you’d get what you want.
2. Thinking every word and action is about you
The way people treat you, is a statement about who they are as a human being. It is not a statement about you
So even if someone is being rude, or at their worst around you, it doesn’t necessarily have to mean that you’re the reason behind it. Sure if you’ve done them wrong, that kind of behavior is expected. But don’t make everything about yourself. They might just be acting out because they’re having a bad day. It doesn’t have to do anything with you. You’re not the reason behind it. So don’t be offended by every little thing people say or do. Don’t take people’s negativity personally. You should know yourself better than anyone else. Therefore, when people are making baseless remarks about you, just ignore them. However, be sure to take note of positive criticism. It’s for your own good.
3. Constantly complaining about not having any power over your own life
Life isn’t all that fair at times. Everyone learns that sooner or later. But complaining about it doesn’t help in anyway. It doesn’t allow you to move forward and simply annoys the people around you. There is always a tiny window of opportunity even in the most disastrous of situations. And you’d be able to find it, only if you stop whining so much and start focusing on damage control. Setbacks are inevitable, but allowing them to hold you back, is entirely up to you. You might not have control over everything, but some things are in your control. Like making the right choices for yourself. Acknowledge and embrace that.
4. Holding on to things
What doesn’t kill you would only make you stronger, if you allow it to. Holding on to pain, heartbreak and loss is just excess baggage you’re carrying around. It’s weighing you down. It’s keeping you from moving forward and growing. Try transforming all of that into strength. All the things you’ve been through should only make you fearless. Learn to let go of everything that is holding you back. Make room for new emotions and experiences. Leave the past where it belongs.
5. Being negative, ALL the time!
Negativity can be contagious. And people are definitely going to stay clear of you, if you have a negative mindset. A little negativity is bound to creep into everyone’s head. But if you allow it to reside there, and grow, that’s where the problem begins. Not only are you convinced that something or the other is going to go wrong but that everyone is somehow out to get you. Even if something good happens, you’re still knit-picking. You’re just over critical of everything.
6. Having no control over your emotions
It’s like you’re on an emotional high. You feel more intensely. You’re easily hurt and easily enraged. The tiniest of upset ticks you off. If this burst of emotions is too frequent, you should get to the root of it. A little slip of control once in a blue moon is excusable, but if it’s constant, you need help. Don’t be ashamed of seeking help when you need it. This will not only benefit you, but the people around you will also be able to take a sigh of relief.
7. Judging people too quickly
People and things often don’t appear to be how they actually are. Don’t jump to conclusions about anyone. Instead of judging them for their behavior, try placing yourself in their shoes. Think on why they’re acting the way they are. If they’re agitated with you, even when you haven’t done anything, it may be because of someone or something else. People act out of pain and anger all the time. Be understanding rather than insensitive.
8. Being unkind
Compassion is apparently becoming rare. People are becoming more self-involved and less concerned with others by the minute. Humans cannot thrive without compassion. It is something that holds us all together. It can help you win over people. When you lack empathy, you have no trouble being hurtful to the next person. You fail to realize the emotional and mental damage you’re causing them. You’re giving people a reason to resent you. Learn to be thoughtful of others. Never be the reason behind someone’s pain.
You dare to do immoral things when you know there isn’t going to be any accountability. As long as it doesn’t harm you, there isn’t any reason you shouldn’t do it. Either you’re cheating in a relationship, or business or any number of things, it is still wrong. Just because you can get away with it, doesn’t make it right. A healthy conscience wouldn’t allow you to do such a thing. When people place their trust in you, don’t make them pay for it.
10. Not being yourself
If you’re not comfortable with being yourself, how can you expect people to accept you either. Don’t try to change your ways just to fit in. Because once you do, you’re going to revert back to your old ways. People will take you to be a pretentious liar. Be yourself at all times. You don’t need people to like you, just to accept you the way you are. Every one of us is different from the other. Appreciate the differences. However, if there is room for improvement, never hesitate from becoming better than you were yesterday.
11. Depending on others’ approval
The only people who live such a way are those who aren’t sure of themselves. Lacking confidence in oneself can be very off-putting. And since you want everyone’s approval, you’ll go crazy trying to win everyone over. It’s tiring for everyone involved. The offside is that you can’t please everyone. And despite all your efforts, you’ll never have everyone’s approval. It side tracks you from becoming the person you’re meant to be and the things you’re supposed to be doing. Stop making your life difficult. Start living your life the way YOU see fit.
12. Being obsessed with perfection
Perfection, like everything else is not a constant thing. What might seem perfect in this very moment, could be a problem the very next. Be flexible. If you keep going after perfection, your search will be an endless one, and never fruitful. Be grateful for what you have and be patient. Allow things to work out the way they are meant to. With time you’ll come to realize that what you have is a perfect fit for all your needs.
So if you have any of the above toxic behaviors, learn to get rid of them. Don’t allow them to take over your life and create distance between you and the people you love. And you just can’t get rid of them overnight. Be patient. Try to refrain from saying or doing things that are negative in any way.В