If you’re not disgustingly comfortable with each other, why even do it?
All relationships are always going to be unique and special and that’s because all human beings are also inherently unique creatures. We all carry with us our individual tastes, personalities, ideas, opinions, feelings, and worldviews into our relationships. And once our individuality gets mixed in with another person’s, things can get pretty complex. But the healthiest relationships are always the ones who are able to work through the individual differences and come up with an identity for the relationship as a whole. This is when couples start to develop a certain sense of comfort and synchronicity with another person. And when there is comfort in a relationship, there is often some pretty gross stuff that comes along with it.
Of course, we are all naturally disgusting whenever we’re on our own. We don’t put on a mask or a filter whenever we’re just by ourselves. We don’t need to conform to established norms and standards of decency. We’re on our own anyway. We don’t have to worry about offending anyone. But it’s weird how when we start to grow comfortable with another person in a relationship, we start to become more transparent to that person as well. We lower our guards. We take off our masks. We completely eliminate our filters. And we allow them to see us for who we really are. And that’s mostly good for a relationship. It shows that there are a vulnerability and trust between two people that always makes for a strong and healthy romance.
But sometimes, from the outside looking in, it can still be pretty gross. As a couple, you might do things that feel completely natural to both of you because you’re so used to it. But if you take things from a bigger perspective, you know that you wouldn’t be acting this way with just anyone else. These are things that you wouldn’t dare do in front of friends or family members. You only do it with one another, and in some weird way, it’s kind of cute. But still, it’s pretty gross:
1. You walk around naked in front of one another in a nonsexual manner.
2. You both eat food out of each other’s plates.
3. You share a toothbrush every once in a while.
4. You willingly fart in front of each other.
5. You check for rashes, bruises, or bumps in unflattering areas of your partner’s body.
6. You clean your partner’s ears.
7. You smell your partner’s pits because they want to know if they smell bad.
8. You talk to one another even when one of you is using the toilet.
9. You no longer feel the need to shave the parts of your body that usually need constant shaving.
10. You can talk about your gross bodily functions in front of one another (i.e. periods).
11. You can pee without having to close the door.
12. You don’t care about whatever weight gain you have when you’re together.
13. You don’t care about the kind or the quantity of food that you consume in front of them.
14. You kiss one another even when one of you is sick.
15. You pop one another’s zits.
16. You kiss one another even when you both have terrible morning breath.
17. You scratch your private parts in front of each other.
18. You clean up each other’s disgusting messes.
19. You know each other’s go-to orders at McDonald’s.
20. You can pretty much predict each other’s sexual routines.
And those are only 20 examples. Who knows what else other weird couples might be doing during their alone time? But regardless of how weird the whole situation might be to other people, you always have to stay true to the personality of your relationship. If both of you are just comfortable with acting like that in front of one another, then no one should be stopping or discouraging you from doing so. No one has the right to dictate how you conduct yourselves in your own relationship especially when things are working out fine.
At the end of the day, all couples really want to establish a sense of comfort and familiarity with one another. They want the stability and consistency that comes with comfortable bonds and relationships. And sometimes, that comfort can manifest itself in weird and gross ways and that’s okay. It’s okay to be weird and gross around one another as long as you’re both happy in a relationship. You could be acting decent in front of one another but if you don’t make each other happy or comfortable, then what’s the point of being in a relationship at all? You just have to be who you really are and own up to it.