We live in a world full of manipulation and negativity – especially when it comes to love. You never know if someone’s feelings for you are genuine or if they’re trying to manipulate you to gain something for themselves – that’s called “love-bombing.”
Redditor -ethereality- posted a question on AskWomen where they asked the community to share some of the worst situations of being love-bombed. They asked:
How did you know you were being love bombed?
Here are 23 of the most heartbreaking and real responses:
1. MuppetManiac felt uncomfortable:
“I felt uncomfortable. Being showered with actual love shouldn’t make you feel uncomfortable.”
2. castanetislander shares her heartbreaking story:
“EVERYthing I did was amazing. I had a guy get excited that my favorite animated movie was a movie he had only seen one time as a child. He didn’t even remember it! Yet he cited that as a reason I was a perfect match for him. Anything I did, even if it directly conflicted with one of his opinions, would turn into yet another reason I was perfect”
3. Nancy2421 shared a story of her mother:
“It happened after every screaming session. My mom would just go off on me for the most random of reasons, very ‘wire hangers mommy dearest’ then afterwards it was a complete 180. With lots of hugs and kisses and affection.”
“As an adult I could recognize it in men and steered very very clear.”
“People who love bomb seem like they are trying very hard, because that’s what they are doing ‘trying’. Love and affection is a natural thing not something to be forced.”
4. diet_coke_cabal wrote a simple yet sad story most of us can relate with:
“Because once I became dependent on it, it went away.”
5. rad_interesting_name shares about listening to your good friends:
“Honestly I didn’t know until a very long time after we broke up, when I read a comment on reddit defining love bombing.”
“One of my friends had expressed that she thought I was being love bombed waaayy before I figured it out…I guess I wasn’t ready to see it when she told me. Listen to your friends! Their perspective is invaluable.”
6. Queasy_Ad_5460 shares a truly heartwrenching tale:
“He stopped being loving when he got me. He quit giving me attention and barely spoke to me at all… …like a kid getting tired of a toy. I’m still angry about it.”
7. kchackman spoke about manipulation that happened slowly:
“At the beginning it was constant compliments, telling me everything I ever wanted to hear. I didn’t even realize what was happening, and then after a year it all stopped. Then came the control and manipulation. When I tried to end it after 5 years, and him telling me how much marriage and kids sounded horrible, suddenly he wanted me to be the mother of his children and saying we should go look at rings. I almost fell for it, but I’m glad I stayed strong.”
8. oddcowgirl saved herself early on:
“When he invited me to come on his study abroad trip to Europe. I had only met him once in person.”
9. Automatic-Cod-4682 wrote about someone falling in love with her in two days:
“Received an I Love you within two days of our conversation. I thought that maybe it’s hard for me to accept that I’m being loved that I was just sabotaging myself,so I kept discarding my gut feeling. Ladies,our gut instinct is our gift,make sure to use it correctly!”
10. NokoBal shares her story of gaslighting:
“When he began to project his insecurities and gaslight me. He’d say something like ‘I bought you all these nice things and you still want to go out with your ‘friends?'”
11. ithasriboflavin saw the red flags early:
“First date and he kept talking about future plans with me and using “we”. I’ll take you to this place, we can do this thing etc. Dude, I don’t know if I even want to go on a second date yet!”
“If I disagreed with him on anything, he’d either act like I was so charming or change the subject. Usually when I disagree with others, they’d explain themselves, which is great cause I want to know more about them and how they think. This guy kept hiding himself.”
12. dabi-dabi shares about her emotional needs:
“I’m a very needy person. So, if someone’s giving me attention and I’m not slightly happy (or worse, I’m uncomfortable with it) it turns alert mode on in my brain.”
“In a week or two I’ll be dreading to talk to the person, and in three weeks I cringe to their name.”
13. Beabandit shares a simple lesson to avoid being love-bombed:
“Basically : pretty words but no actions.”
14. _Unicorn_Lord_ shares about compliments without meaning:
“Had someone I was talking to for a while.”
“When I felt high whenever we talked and low whenever he would ignore me as punishment. Usually, for being too honest or not saying what he was wanting to hear.”
“He would shower me in love, affection, compliments, and make me feel really good. It became addictive to talk to him.”
15. Plastic-Tune7425 shares another lesson about actions:
“Actions never matches their words”
16. nox-lumos04 speaks about early signs:
“It was happening really early into the relationship. We hardly even knew each other yet he was expressing really big feelings. Too much too soon. Also, would pile it on when I wanted to do something he didn’t want me to do (ie. spend time with friends instead of him)”
17. KMDubs86 shares about small instances leading to big ones:
“There were a lot of smaller instances leading up to this but one time I changed every single radio preset he had in his car just to see if he would actually get upset with me and finally stand up for himself. He apologized TO ME for having radio stations that didn’t like before that. Ooof.”
18. lasersharks69 shares about being played:
“The first time? I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. And then predictably, I got played.”
“After I’d been played, I realized it was love bombing. There will be no second time.”
19. SlowMo_Sush, too, talks about actions vs. words:
“When his actions weren’t matching his words. In the beginning he was really affectionate, kept making elaborate plans for the future, gave me a lot of attention and made me feel like he was falling in love with me in a short period of time.”
“Two weeks later, he was just not the same. Kept telling me he wanted to meet me and still made plans for the future but there was no follow through. Initially I chalked it up to being busy/ work stress but after a while I realised that this inconsistent behaviour is not okay with me and broke things off.”
20. IamDollParts96 talks about when they take things too fast:
“Too strong, too much, too fast. You cannot love me when you do not even know me. Getting to know someone requires TIME. Some might argue you can never truly know someone in toll, but you sure as hell cannot know someone well in a few months.”
21. curryp4n shares her tale:
“He was telling me how much he loved me after a week of dating. Also no matter what I did, he would say ‘this is why I love you.’ It just felt bizarre”
22. h20rabbit defines love-bombing:
“Being overly ‘loved’ and praised beyond what would be expected. Overly showered with praise to other people while you are present for things that are normal. If someone is over the top, it’s a red flag.”
“Also, pay attention to how they speak of their exes and how long their friendships are.”
23. choiaera shares a creepy tale:
“He mirrored everything. I realised later on that it was impossible for someone to be so similar to me. Not even my sibling shared my opinions / likes that much.”
“Also, that feeling of dread / nerves that I mistook for butterflies. I didn’t know then that it was my gut telling me to run, now. (I did run, but towards him. I was a fu—ing idiot, but I learned my lesson now)”
This post has garnered over 600 comments and answers, read them all on Reddit here.
Do you have a story of being love-bombed? Share your story in the comments below!
Source: Reddit
