Ladies, this is for you.
The male brain isn’t as complicated as you think. In fact, he’s going to be very simple-minded. He’s not going to demand a whole lot of things from you. He isn’t going to put too much meaning into things and he isn’t going to read too much into various situations. But the problem with men is that they’re never going to be expressive about their emotions or their expectations in the relationship.
They won’t want to put themselves in the vulnerable position of having to open up to you. And so you are left to play mind reader a lot of the time. Of course, you always have to be mindful and sensitive of whatever you say to your man. He most likely isn’t going to tell you that you’re upsetting him when you say something rude or insensitive.
He isn’t going to tell you when a comment is hurtful. He is going to keep it to himself and his feelings will eventually build up to the point of destruction. So you should never let it get to that point. While every relationship is unique, there are some basic universal concepts that you should always adhere to when it comes to communication. Communication is always important in any relationship, but there is constructive communication and there is destructive communication. It all depends on the kinds of things that you are going to choose to talk about.
Make sure that you stay away from destructive points of communication so as not to upset your man. If you keep making the mistake of continuing to bring up these unacceptable talking points, then you are going to risk losing your man forever. Here are a few things that you should never tell your man if you want to continue to keep him in your life.
1. You should never actively bring up your exes during your conversations.
The general rule of thumb is this: unless your man asks you about your romantic history, you should never bring it up. Make it a point to never deliberately bring up the subject of your exes during your conversations. He doesn’t want to hear about how handsome your ex used to be.
He doesn’t want to hear about how your ex was great in bed or how he had a nice personality. In fact, he doesn’t even want to hear about how horrible or toxic your ex was. Even negative comments about your ex are a big no-no.
The fact of the matter is that he just doesn’t want to hear about your ex at all. If you bring up your ex out of the blue, he is going to start wondering why your ex is still on your mind in the first place. Don’t give him that insecurity.
2. You should never make any punitive comments that would bruise his ego or diminish his manhood.
A man’s ego is his entire life. He will always pride himself on his personality and his abilities to take care of himself and the people he loves the most. Yes, he is going to be prone to a lot of mistakes as all human beings are, but he isn’t going to handle failure as well as women do. Men have very fragile egos and it doesn’t take a lot to bring them down.
Even the slightest mistake will be enough to bring about a lot of insecurity in them. That’s why it’s important for you to never kick him while he is down.
If you notice that your man is going through a slump, try building him up into something better. Don’t ever make any harsh comments or make him feel worse than he already is. A man needs support, not a lecture. If he sees that you can’t be supportive of him during the toughest times of his life, then he isn’t going to want you to be there when he’s at his best either.
3. You should never say anything bad about his mother.
A real man’s mother is his whole life. Before he decides to make you the most important woman in his life, his mother is always going to be on top. He is going to regard his mother as a queen and you always have to remember that. The moment that you decide to say anything negative about his mother, he is going to want nothing to do with you.
A man is always going to show appreciation for the woman who raised him and made him into who he is now. So whenever you decide to attack the most important person in his life, perhaps you should rethink it. No one is going to win in this situation and you will be unintentionally initiating the premature demise of your relationship.
Talk to me
Ladies, how many of you are guilty of this? Talk to me in the comments below!
Hi there is this guy we had a mutual relationship four years back despite I hate leaving then but I had to because he was going through heart break which put me in a delima situation. Now we meet again and I like him so much but I don’t know if I still have a chance with him but anytime we talk he uses Love, my baby also was a time he said he can wait for me to have my apartment so I can start cooking for him. please i need help dont wanna blow this chance off again then i learn he has a girlfriend ☹️ so WHAT CAN I DO?
Let him go and focus on yourself..yohr beautiful and ypu deserve someone better than him
It shouldn’t be a part of any discussion in my opinion. When I am asked, did he cheat, did he squander money, did he hit you. Why even answer these. It hurts my ego to think this man I’m dating needs to know all this BS about my past. I’m thinking it’s an interview or a sneaky way of asking what my ex did wrong, so if that’s part of His nature he might not want to carry on.. so it’s a catch 22. Jesus! Who knew so much drama about starting over. Past is ashes. Let it go!
Speaking as a guy this is 100% dead on. I’ve been asked this on first dates before. (There are no second dates.) There is no “friends” with exs–even if it was amicable. Nothing but a bad dream I’m not interested in reliving. An ex is an ex for a reason. Moving on… Note to KIm: If the guy is so insecure he has to compete with your past, time to drop him.
I just entered into a relationship with a wonderful man. We met at a friend’s birthday party. We started talking and realized we share the same beliefs on many things like being spiritual as opposed to religious. I told him that is a common thing to have in common with men but that I have never met anyone that I shared so many philosophical beliefs as with him. That, and his intelligence and humor, attracted me to him. (He mentions the same traits in me). We have spent nights together, one overnight and I just got home from a 2 night stay. He is a marvelous, sensual kisser. He is very attentive to my needs and desires and I have reciprocated. In fact we each are turned on by pleasing the other. So where is the problem? He looks great fully clothed but is flabby and soft and doesn’t look good naked. That does not bother me. I have always been with men who have had something I could compliment; nice legs, flat stomach, biceps, something. I cannot compliment any part of his body. I tell him, truthfully, that I love being under his right arm with my head on his chest. It feels good to sleep next to him. His kisses drive me crazy and the sound of his voice is hypnotic. We lay together and look into each other’s eyes. Every aspect about him has attracted me. Do men need to be complimented about their bodies? It has seemed in the past that the men I have complemented have liked it and “puffed” out their chests a bit. Or is it enough that I melt when he kisses me and we share a mutual sensuality in our kissing? And that he knows how he makes me feel sexually and also knows the pleasure I get from pleasing him? I want to know if it is something a man wants to hear on top of our physical pleasure. Of course we aren’t in bed the entire time and talk about many things and also laugh together a lot. Is it really not a big deal and I should forget about it?
You asked and answered your own question. Cut the guy loose to be happy. Venal and materialistic people get what they deserve. Once you’ve jiffy-popped out 3 kids and things are sagging, come back and ask why the guy isn’t interested in you…
Try this:
1. Hold is hand and ask if he’d walk with you because its dark.
Hold his hand. Try laying your head on his shoulder. DO NOT TALK.
Go a block. “Say this was nice. Kiss him.”
2-20. Repeat. 2, 3, 4 blocks.
You’d be suprised what a little positive reinforement will do.
#3 has never bothered me if shes right.
What if he’s hurting you so much? and his mother gave backbite at you. would you still be silent and make him superior?
Am guilty of the first point. I thought I was been honest and sincere little did I know that I was knee capping myself. This guy left me to marry someone else and only told me later that why he left me was because of what I told him about my ex.
Mine is a question… What if he asks about ur past love experiences? Cos by any means u explain what happened in the past
what if the mother is a narcissist? i was being asked for advise or opinion but it was used against me. we were talking about morals and beliefs which really depends on our upbringing. just because i have a diff opinion doesnt warrant me being ridiculed and scrutinized of. i told my partner thats a toxic trait to live with. and also said i’m juz being honest and true to myself of my opinion.
I’m in a extremely toxic relationship with my husband he’s a covert narcissistic calls me cunt..bitch I can’t do anything right it’s his way all the time thinks things should be happy all the time c/ o I never do anything according to his rules right.
I have health issues and he has no empathy as he says I do shit every fucking year accidents happen AND HES TOO BUSY TO HELP ME as he told the doct he’s so evil I’m dealing with a demon.
Right now I’m down I tore my tendon and it’s all my fault.
He asked me 1 time while don’t u smile
HOW CAN I SMILE WHEN SOMEONE IS TREATED IN THIS MANNER.
IM 63 HES 66 both had been widowers
iv made a grave mistake in marring him my brain is mush iv never been so scared to move on.
emotional abuse is worse than being hit.
I hate having to start over again im just numb