Are you aware of anyone who enjoys talking about themselves? People like this have high self-esteem and hold themselves in high regard. As social media is full of people who boost their self-esteem by being conversational narcissists, it’s not hard to find someone like this.
You have likely heard of narcissists, and you may have met one or two. You might even have narcissistic personality disorder yourself. In the DSM-5, NPD can be described as a greedy, status-driven individual who often engages in destructive behaviors.
Thus, a newer subcategory of this personality has emerged, which we call conversational narcissists. Unlike the traditional type, these individuals can manipulate and control their relationships by using their voices.
It is crucial to distinguish between someone with poor communication skills and a person who is suffering from a personality disorder. Once a person is made aware that they are disrespecting, invalidating, and using others, the narcissist will continue this destructive behavior.
A person with poor communication skills will modify their speech in order to be more accommodating. The following are some signs to look out for when dealing with a conversational narcissist.
1. There are a lot of interruptions from them
Narcissists who engage in conversation will jump into the conversation while someone is in the middle of speaking, says Behary. “At first listen, it can sound like they’re being helpful or sharing a resource, but it quickly becomes clear that this conversation is no longer about you—it’s about them,” she says.
2. They never stop talking
Since narcissists constantly seek approval and favor from their audience, Behary says their constant talking will sound more like a lecture than a conversation. “There’s so much showing off and wanting to appear to be very smart, special, knowledgeable, and intuitive,” she explains.
This is different from a chatty and extroverted person, who would likely be aware of, and even acknowledge, that they’re talking a lot, “whereas conversational narcissists are not even aware that they’ve hijacked the conversation and made it all about them,” Behary says.
3. Overbearing during a conversation
An example of a conversation with a narcissist might be as follows: “Oh, I am so sorry that you have a headache, but would you mind taking me to the store for some groceries?”The focus must always remain on them.
People like these can dominate conversations, and they’re not scared to interrupt you either rudely. Narcissists don’t seem to care what others say, even when it’s critical, private, and vulnerable. You can’t have a close and loving relationship with them because they don’t care about anyone but themselves.
4. They have a complex of unwarranted superiority
The conservational narcissist also has a superiority complex for no good reason. You may think they’re arrogant or smug, but that’s just them trying to hide their insecurities. They want to demote, judge, demean, reduce, make fun of, and discriminate against others.
Don’t forget, this behavior has more to do with them than you, and someone healthy inside doesn’t try to destroy others. To feel better, they put you down, and it shows how messed up things are in their minds. They don’t love themselves, so they need a superior to cover up their hatred.
5. They use a lot of filler words
Conversational narcissists also use a lot of filler words. Now, many people have bywords as a result of losing their train of thought or habit, but this individual does so because he isn’t listening to you at all.
People who are not participating in your conversation may say things like “hmm” or “interesting,” so watch out for these filler words, as they may be selfish and not interested in what you are saying.