Here’s the thing: all relationships are inherently complex and complicated because human beings are complex and complicated. And that’s why you should take whatever piece of relationship advice that you get with a grain of salt. There are so many articles just like this one which is scattered all over the internet that gives conflicting pieces of advice. And it’s hard to generalize when it comes to a relationship because of just how unique and distinct all our individual personalities are. We are all bound to have our own personal inclinations and principles. Not all of us are going to conduct ourselves in a uniform manner as robots would. So that’s why it’s important to preface this article by saying that you need to be more discerning than blind as you read what you are about to read.
In any relationship, either a man or woman can choose to take the lead. There are no set gender roles. You can discern that for yourselves in your own relationship. There are some men out there who say that they like being with alpha females. These men will want to latch on to female go-getters; the women who aren’t afraid of taking charge of a situation and making things happen on their own. Some men would even want women to make the first moves in a relationship. However, there are also a lot of men out there who prefer their women to be passive. These men are the ones who will want to call the shots and steer the ship. They will want full control of the wheel and they will be threatened by any woman who exhibits aggressive behavior. And the truth is that there are more men who fall into the latter category; the ones who like to take charge in the relationship themselves. And so, if you’re a woman who happens to like to stay on the sidelines, then this is the article for you.
Now, it’s important to get one thing straight: just because you want a man to make the first move and take the lead doesn’t mean that you should just keep on sitting pretty. You also need to be taking matters into your own hands somewhat; otherwise, you are never going to get what you really want. You will be letting go of your own chance at finding happiness. You should still be able to “guide” a man towards conducting himself as a leader in a relationship. You can’t just be some kind of doormat by letting your man walk all over you.
But what does it mean exactly to be “guiding” a man into taking control of a relationship? What exactly does that look like? How should you be conducting yourself in that scenario? Well, you have more responsibility than you would initially think. In fact, it can be a very empowering experience even though you are essentially relinquishing control. When you guide your man through your relationship, you are still putting your own pulse on the relationship as a whole. You are still able to influence the direction of the relationship without being domineering or aggressive about it. Think of it as a more subtle approach to control and management in a relationship. You aren’t exactly calling the shots. But you’re not watching your relationship from the sidelines either. You’re not letting fate take control of everything.
1. Respond to his advances.
Okay, so you want him to take the lead in your relationship. You want him to make the first move, and that’s okay. That’s fine. But you’re going to have to respond. Don’t expect him to keep on pursuing you if you don’t show him signs of life.
2. Don’t force yourself to keep your weekends open.
Live your own life. Don’t make yourself too available for him. If he takes too long to reserve you for a date, then make plans for your own. Let him know that you have a life that you want to live for yourself; that you’re not putting your life on pause for him.
3. Show your appreciation and attention to detail.
Since you’re letting him take the lead in your relationship, you should be appreciative of his initiative. You should show him your gratitude for his willingness to actually call the shots and take the direction of the relationship into his own hands.
4. Hold him accountable for his actions and decisions.
Since you’re letting him take control of the relationship doesn’t mean that you give him free reign. If he makes a decision that backfires on the both of you, hold him accountable to it. Keep him on his toes and let him know that you always deserved to be treated in the best way possible.
5. Show him respect.
And lastly, give him respect. Always conduct yourself with grace, class, and poise.