Dating someone can be fun and if things go well in the first phase of getting to know them, where everything feels amazingly new and gives you butterflies in your stomach, you might just consider making it a meaningful and serious relationship. Getting serious about someone and committing to them in a relationship will be very exciting but it’s very important that you think it through before you make a decision because taking your relationship to the next level, choosing that person as your partner for life and calling them yours is a huge deal.
It can turn into a beautiful journey of lifelong love and friendship and it will change your life but moving forward onto this next step can be intimating. It comes with seriousness and responsibility and there are some things you need to take care of beforehand. Some matters need to be talked out and some aspects of your life should be specifically clarified so you can make sure the bond you’re going to create is one that is based on honesty and understanding and mutual agreement. It may make you nervous but it’s imperative for your relationship in the long run. Isn’t it just way smarter to be upfront about certain things before starting off instead of being surprised by discovering things about them along the way? That could obviously lead to disagreements and arguments because how can you make sure everything you eventually get to know about them will please you and not bother you?
Consider talking about these things with your partner before you get seriously involved with them:
1. Your views on religion:
Because religion can be such a sensitive subject for most people, you should talk about it with your partner when you’re aiming at something serious with them. Not that differences of opinions on religion should ever necessarily cause a rift between two lovers but you should, just to be sure, clarify your beliefs to him/her and have them talk about theirs to you, so that it isn’t something the both of you need to find out and by any chance be concerned about in the middle of an otherwise undisturbed relationship.
2. Your mental health:
This one is a must and it tops our list. Don’t attempt to hide facts concerning your mental health from your partner. If you don’t sit them down, place your trust in them and talk about it with them, they’ll be finding out in ways that would hurt and confuse them. If you’re struggling with depression, anxiety or anything like that then tell them because they have every right to mentally prepare themselves for dealing with it on your rough days.
3. Your relationship with your family:
This person can’t be kept in the dark about your relationship with your family. You have to tell them what it’s like. If it’s a normal, friendly and loving relationship go ahead and tell them, if it is not, if you come from something of a broken home or, if it is really serious i.e. abusive and deeply damaging, go ahead and tell them still. They have to know because it’ll come out sooner or later anyway and it’d be very beneficial for the two of you if they could just hear it from you before discovering it in some other, unexpected ways.
4. Your relationship with your exes:
Although you are never under any obligation or pressure to tell your current boyfriend about your sexual experiences with your exes, it’s important for you to tell them what your relations with your exes are like currently; if you’re still great friends with, or if you still frequently keep in touch with them, if you believe in never being friends with your exes and they’re not a part of your life anymore, if you and your exes have a circle of mutual friends and you still often see them at parties or maybe somewhere else, if it ended badly and you’re still coping with its repercussions etc. etc. Somewhere down the line, if you’re talking to your exes or if you’re doing anything that so much as involves your exes, your partner may want in on the situation, as is natural. Tell them because they deserve a heads up on this matter and it shouldn’t have to come up again.
5. Money:
It may seem like you’re thinking of a future that lies too far ahead of you right now, but you could end up moving in with them or marrying them at some but when and if that happens, your partner will want to know your thoughts on money. Are you thinking “why?”. That’s because people with very different opinions on money have a hard time understanding each other. Someone who is spendthrift could find it super difficult to settle with a frugal person. It may not be a deal breaker but it could have an impact on your relationship and because how you feel about something as indispensable as money says a lot about you, your lover has a right to know. It would be sensible to get it out of the way long before the two of you are sharing a house together.
