Make love, not war.
In these turbulent times, more often than not stress takes a toll on all of us. Trying to make ends meet, raising kids, pursuing our careers; the simple act of survival is not as effortless as it sounds. This affects our mental and physical health both, in order to keep our sanity there needs to be something that provides some neutralization in this situation. Our relationships can act as that buffer, the ray of sunshine that keeps us going, but most of us seek happiness in other means, while we dump all the problems on our relationship and our relationship becomes a source of stress rather than being our safe place. Here are some simple ways you can de-stress your relationship and avoid trashing all your frustrations on your relationship, to help you avoid conflict with your partner as soon as you get home. If you are satisfied in your relationship it will eventually bring tranquility to a big part of your life.
1. Commit, commit, commit!
The emphasis is very necessary. You will pay attention to your relationship only if you are truly committed. It all begins with sincerity; commit to your partner, commit to your relationship, commit to being happy. If your relationship is going through a rough patch, don’t take the easy way out by quitting, devote yourself to the well-being of your relationship. Don’t just ignore it and let it take its own course.
2. Stay connected
No matter how busy your life is, give your relationship priority. Never underestimate the power of communication. Spend quality time with each other; things like goodnight kisses (Yes, a plural), walks, movie nights, goodbye hugs, etc should never be ignored. Work on keeping the intimacy alive.
Don’t just hear, listen to your partner. Understand what they’re saying, don’t interrupt or brush them off because you’re too tired. A simple ‘How was your day?’ goes a long way. But don’t make it a formality, take interest and be involved with each other. If they have any concerns, reassure them and work on improving it for them. Respect and honor each other’s thoughts and feelings.
4. Encourage and comfort
Life knocks us down every now and then, there is no running away from these challenges. Instead of being angry at your partner, be their support system. Offer words of encouragement, love, and comfort. Don’t add you to their problems by making disappointed and rude comments, be there for your partner. Accept the bad times with the good. You don’t deserve the good times if you refuse to stand with them during the hard times.
5. Take care of yourself
You need to be happy yourself to give that to someone else, you can’t offer something which you yourself are scarce of. So, concentrate on your own health and happiness as well, have your own hobbies, activities, have something going for yourself. Try to look presentable, take regular sleep, eat healthy, work out if you can. You need to take care of yourself first in order to take care of others.
Disagreements become a part of your routine when you constantly try to change your partner. This stresses us out when we can’t change something. Unless your partner is into drug abuse or something which is truly unacceptable, don’t try to alter their personality and put undue pressure on your relationship. We all have certain flaws, accept them. Focus on their good qualities more, the reasons why you love them.
7. Don’t assume
It is very difficult to keep negativity, which constantly surrounds us, at bay. When we get into a situation with our partner, we automatically jump to the worst-case scenarios, assuming things, speaking before we listen. To avoid having a heated argument with your partner, try to respond rather than react. The difference here lies in how we reciprocate the situation. Reacting immediately with half-truths increases the negativity of the situation; while a response is a more composed and well thought out reaction. So, just listen before you assume.
8. Set boundaries
Our personal and professional lives go hand in hand and any imbalance in either of them can negatively affect the other. It is important to set boundaries, don’t let work, friends, family or any other external forces influence the health of your relationship. Discuss it with your partner and settle on drawing a line somewhere.