A few days ago, the lady and I went to have dinner with some of our friends. Things started getting awkward when suddenly one of the couples began complaining about how hard it is to make the other person happy, and complaints began flying in from every direction.
It was a pretty awkward hangout for us. On our way back, I held my girl’s hand and kissed it; I thanked her for being so good to me, for giving me no reason to complain or argue, for making me so happy that even if we do fight, I make sure it’s not in public or front of friends.
We both smiled; it was beautiful. That one incident made me write this article when I started thinking about the reasons that cause even the strongest of relationships to fail and even marriages to break, I wanted to share everything ordinary in those things. So if you have a habit of any of these following things or if you feel like one of them is starting to develop, get rid of them.
Here are 8 damaging things every couple should stop doing.
8. Not being “there.”
So you took out time from your busy schedule to spend with your SO, is it enough to be there? No. You need to be “present,” you need to be there! Your presence is required, and that means both mind and body, not just the body. You need to be completely aware of what your partner is saying, don’t be so lost in your thoughts that you fail to answer even the simplest of questions when you’re asked to.
Your partner needs your attention and love, all of it when you’re with them, so try not to have other thoughts in mind when you spend time with them, or you’ll just be wasting that time. If you’re bothered by something, share it, don’t keep it in because that will make your partner feel like something’s bothering you and you can’t tell them for some odd reason. Be present, in mind and body.
7. Getting too comfortable to compliment each other
Compliments go a long way, the key to a life long relationship is never to stop telling each other how much you love each other. Sometimes, we get so comfortable with our partners that we feel like we don’t need to compliment them or flirt with them because they know our feelings already, being this soft is not okay because you can never stop the flirting and the compliments. You need to keep telling them how much you love them and prove that with your actions, your words and actions are linked.
Never let a day go by without telling them how special they are, how beautiful they are, appreciate them for everything they are.
6. Not compromising
Relationships aren’t built on unexpected feelings, and favorable situations, the strongest of relationships require a ton of hard work and a lot of compromise from both sides. Never forget how important the other person is, no matter how long it’s been, always compromise for each other.
Don’t take them for granted, just because you’ve been with them for years, doesn’t mean you can love them any less now, love them more than you did before and prove it with your actions. Selfless people have the best relationships, be selfless and loving. True love is where you start treating the other person’s happiness as your own.
5. The need to be right
We are all human, we all have our egotistical sides no matter how much we may love someone, but we need to fight it because the ego is something that needs to be far far away from love. We all need to be right, but it’s essential to know the limits, if your lack is hurting your relationship, you need to stop. Yes, we all argue with our loved ones now and then, and sometimes the arguments may get out of hand, it happens, and it’s very natural.
But what’s important here is to remember how much you love them, and remembering that love being more important than your need to win or be right, and in that light, end those fights as quickly as you can.
4. Hiding your flaws and problems
Love is all about transparency, complete transparency. When I was asking my girlfriend out, she already knew everything about me before that, she knew my weaknesses, my flaws, my problems and everything in between, I never hid anything from her because I wanted her to know me completely, she told me things about her past, painful things nobody else knew about, horrifying creatures, and I ended up loving her more for those things because she’s stronger than I am.
So by telling each other our flaws and weaknesses, we became stronger in each others’ eyes. So don’t hide anything, in need to impress the other person, impress them with the truth, impress them with who you are. If they don’t like the fact, they’re not right for you.
3. Not letting go of what’s gone
Your past can be your biggest weakness if you made it don’t. I’ve seen so many couples facing a lot of tough times because one person was still too involved in the past, never let the past affect your present. We’ve all had dark times, we’ve all had traumatic situations that we had to go through, but the critical thing to remember is that you’re out of that dark place now and you’re with someone who truly loves you, appreciate them and let them know their love is strong enough to make you let go of the past.
2. The need to compete
It’s not a competition; it’s a relationship. A real and healthy relationship is all about two people making each other stronger than ever, not pointing out each others’ flaws and weaknesses and making each other feel like they can’t amount to anything, that’s a very destructive relationship, and I was in one a few years ago. Help and support each other with all of your heart and soul, don’t make it seem like a race or a competition.
1. Getting even instead of forgiving
So your partner made a mistake, would you try getting even with them or would you forgive them? People make mistakes; it’s in their nature, you can’t hold it against them forever, the act of forgiveness is the most powerful in existence, you love them, remember that even when they hurt you or make a mistake, assume with the best of intentions and forgive. If you start getting even with them, your relationship won’t last for very long.
That does it for this one. I hope you guys liked it and learned from it. As always, if you guys want to add anything, feel free to comment below. Stay blessed and keep the love alive!