When you fall in love with someone, it can evoke some really powerful and intense feelings. If you’re lucky, you end up loving someone who is going to love you in return.
And that’s one of the most wonderful things that you could experience in this life. However, if you have ever tried loving someone you can’t have, then you would know that it’s also one of the most painful feelings in the world.
It’s always so hurtful to know that the person you’re willing to give your heart to wouldn’t be willing to do the same for you. And one of the worst things about love is that it really demands to be felt.
It’s not something that you can taper down or shut out. The heart sometimes chooses people we can’t be with – and even though it’s unfortunate, it’s something that we have to learn to deal with should it ever happen to us.
If you have ever developed a certain attraction or fondness for someone else, you might have already gone through this emotionally compromising experience in the past.
There have been numerous plays, movies, songs, and pieces of art that have been inspired by the pain of unrequited love. And so, there’s no denying that it’s something that has impacted so many kinds of people throughout the course of human history.
Based on a study in Sage Journals, unrequited love is actually a person’s idea of romantic love – but it isn’t necessarily going to be true love.
When you try to pursue unrequited love, it’s often a high-risk scenario that is likely to yield some very disappointing results. You risk setting yourself up for embarrassment and disappointment as a result of you getting ahead of yourself.
Usually, unrequited love happens during adulthood or in some cases, during a person’s teenage years as well. And when the pain of this love becomes truly intense, we need to learn how to cope with it better.
And how exactly do you do that? What do you need to do to get over the pain that you’re feeling? How do you get over the pain of loving someone you can’t have?
1. Give yourself some time to grieve.
Accept the sadness that you feel. Let it flow through you. Just be human for a second and let the sadness hit you like a wave. But make sure that you don’t let it consume you either. Take this time to grieve.
2. Keep yourself guarded at all times.
Stay guarded. Protect your heart. You know that it’s a long shot so don’t be getting your hopes up. Stop investing too much of yourself to the point that you’re just being reckless.
3. Keep yourself away from situations that might cause you pain.
You are already in pain as a result of your unrequited love. You don’t have to be adding to it by actively seeking out triggers of that pain. Just try to avoid the scenarios and situations that might bring pain into your life.
4. Find a creative way to manifest all of that negative energy.
Sometimes, you can take all of the negatives in your life and turn them into a positive. Don’t be afraid to do that here. You can take all of the pain that you’re feeling and actually channel that into something beautiful. Maybe you can try artistic pursuits or you can hit the gym.
5. Just accept the situation as it is and move on.
Learn to come to terms with the fact that you’re just never going to find closure here. You’re not going to get what you’re looking for and it would be best for you to just move on with your life. Go and do your own thing.
6. Find support in your friends and loved ones.
You are going to have a support system in life (if you’re smart). So, go ahead and use them. Go to your friends and family and find in them the love that you think you haven’t been getting from someone else.
7. Go out on a date with someone else.
Maybe you can get over the one you’re swooning over by going out on a date with someone else. Maybe it takes you putting yourself out there for you to see that there are better options.
8. Don’t give in to self-judgment and self-criticism.
Know that sometimes, things just don’t work out. It’s just not meant to be for you. And you shouldn’t be kicking yourself for that. It doesn’t always necessarily have to be anyone’s fault.
9. Always take care of yourself at all times.
And at the end of the day, you should always be the priority in your own life. You should be the one who has your back at all times. You always need to be making sure that you take care of yourself first.