Today’s Reddit story is about a good husband. He’s a man who works a full-time job, comes home to take care of his pregnant wife, performs 100% of the chores around the house, all while his wife doesn’t do anything and just uses her phone all day.
One day, the husband was exhausted from work and said “no” to one of his wife’s requests; he got called out for saying no by his wife and his mother-in-law.
“Alrighty Reddit, here we go. My (29M) wife (27F) is 24 weeks pregnant and so far it has been a fairly easy pregnancy (according to her and her doctor, not making assumptions of course). I have done my best to be a good husband. I work full time, started doing all the chores (cooking/cleaning/pet care), and of course try my best to accommodate her cravings. She has been taking it easy and spends most of her day relaxing. She says she’s “never felt better.”
“Being completely honest, I’m starting to get a little burnt out. I love my wife and want her to be comfortable while pregnant but working full time and doing 100% of the chores is very draining. I recently had two separate conversations asking if she’d be willing to do a 80/20 chore split instead, but both times she got offended. She says that it would stress her out and possibly harm the baby, which scared me (I don’t want anything to happen to our baby), so of course I didn’t push it.
“Yesterday morning (2am) my wife woke me up and asked me if I could go to the store for fruit snacks. She was craving them badly. I have made many late nights runs but this week has been so stressful for me; I worked overtime the entire weekend and a deadline is approaching. I told her I was sorry but I really needed to rest, I was exhausted.
“She did not like this answer. First she tried to beg more but I kept saying no. This went on for a half hour. Then she started crying and telling me what a shit husband I was being. She also said she’s “scared to see me as a father if this is how selfish I am.”
“I snapped at her. I told her I’ve been taking care of 100% of the responsibilities for the past 6 months. She’s been sitting on her phone every single day and hasn’t had to lift a finger. Then I said I was done doing 100% of the chores and we need a more even split because I was losing hair from stress. I will admit I had a tone and was obviously irritated. This caused her to cry more and she kicked me out to the couch.
“This has caused a huge rift between us. She was pissed at me the entire day and locked me out of the bedroom tonight. My MIL has texted me to call me an a**hole. They both said the stress I am putting on my wife will hurt the baby so now I feel super guilty. I need perspective.
I think we all know where this is going and how the responses will be. The awesome community at Reddit came to this man’s defense and supported him wholeheartedly. For context, NTA means “Not the A**hole.” Here are some of the best responses:
Reddit user DaisyInc said:
“NTA. Most women literally hold on to their full time jobs 6 months into their pregnancy and beyond. Why is she not even capable of doing light housework?
“The fact that she pulled “it would harm the baby” out of nowhere at being asked to take on even the smallest of responsibility is so manipulative. Her saying you not bending to her whims makes you a bad father was totally out of line too. Never forget, you are both the child’s parents. You get to evaluate her as a mother and as a spouse as much as she does you. What does her current behavior say about what kind of mother and partner she is?
“Edited to add: OP, I hope you are seeing the literal dozens and dozens of mothers who replied to this comment sharing their stories of higher risk pregnancies, more hectic home situations and more demanding jobs than your wife who continued to work and contribute to their households throughout their pregnancies with no adverse effects, all the way up to the month/week of labor. This is what a loving and respectful marriage should look like.”
Another user, cookiemonster730, said:
“My moms a parent class teacher and she does ultra sounds and she encourages mothers to be as active as possible. (Also NTA what their doing is guilt tripping and threatening you which is emotionally abusive)”
“NTA – she’s using her pregnancy as a tool to manipulate it you and use you as slave you around basically man, sorry. And no, doing chores and saying no will not stress her enough to hurt a baby.“
This post has over 2.5k comments, where most pregnant women commented on how they worked during their pregnancies. You can read all of the comments on Reddit here.
NTA. This man is a caring human being, and he’s being manipulated. We think he did nothing wrong by saying “no” one time. We sincerely hope this man finds balance and peace in his life and his wife appreciates him for who he is.
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