I am moving on to being happy.
I’m ready to just move on with my life. Here I am, facing the difficulties that come with my current situation. I am willingly allowing myself to just feel all of the pain that your absence is causing me. Every day that I go about my life, I am bombarded with constant memories of you. I still continue to roam the streets where we used to walk hand in hand with one another. I still eat at all of the restaurants where you and I had countless dates at. I still sip my coffee from the caf where you used to by me my favorite cup of joe in the mornings. I still sleep in the same bed where you and I made love well into the wee hours of the morning on numerous occasions. I am moving on with my life knowing full well that I am missing out on a lot of things that I dearly want from you. I am moving on with my life trying to force myself to accept the reality of the situation that I am in; of the situation that you have left me in. I am moving on with my life even though you still hold a place in my heart even though I try so hard to let you go. I am moving on with my life while accepting that I still do miss you and that you left a mark on my life like no one else ever could. I am moving on with my life because that’s all I can do right now. I am moving on knowing that one day, I’m going to wake up and be whole again. I am going to know what it means to be happy again. I will be able to appreciate the sunshine and the blue skies once more. I know that one day, music will sound pleasing to the ears again. One day, I will be ready to fall in love again and I’m looking forward to when I get to that place. I am moving on because I know that eventually, I am going to look back at where I am right now and laugh at my own helplessness.
I am definitely moving on with my life because it’s what I need to do to survive. I have grown to accept the fact that you and I are never going to share happy memories ever again and I am just going to have to be contented with everything we used to share. I have become content in the knowledge that my future is going to be one that isn’t going to have you in it. While it’s difficult to really be okay with that fact at the moment, I know that I will be okay in the end. I know that you are going to go on and fulfill all of the dreams that you laid out on the table when we were together. You are going to conquer the world in your own way and in your own capacity. At the time, I thought that I would be standing by your side when everything is said and done. I used to imagine that you and I would be going on all of those trips to unfamiliar territories. I thought that you and I would be going on all of those adventures together. But I am slowly learning to accept that you are going to do all of those things on your own or perhaps with someone else. And I am going to have to be okay with that. I am going to have to be content with the fact that I won’t be the one who is going to be beside you when all of your dreams come true. I have to be okay with it because that is an essential aspect of moving on. It’s something that I’m going to have to do in order for me to be happy again. I know that happiness is still really far off, but I am prepared to go through the grind.
I am choosing to move on with my life because I know that you are also doing the same. Even though this is such a big struggle for me, I know that it is just as big a struggle for you because I know that you loved me too. I am going to have to move on with my life because I know that eventually, you are going to move on to someone new. You are going to find a new person to love and so that means I can’t allow myself to be paralyzed into solitude. I am choosing to move on with my life because even though our love didn’t work, I still love myself too much. I love myself enough to want happiness to enter my life again and my happiness shouldn’t be dependent on having you in my life. I am moving on to being happy.