Animals are supposed to be loved and cared for. One of the most vital parts of being a good human being is caring for animals and being kind to them. In today’s Reddit story, one woman loves dogs and fosters them – a true act of kindness. But her sister wants her to help her babysit her children.
The Story
Redditor, Throw_away_no374828, has four kids. And her sister fosters dogs. But she wants her to help her babysit around the house with her kids. She shared her story on AITA (Am I the A**hole?) to ask whether she’s right or wrong. She wrote:
Okay just writing the title like that made me feel super guilty, but please hear me out before judging too harshly.
“I (38 F) have 4 kids ages 11 months, 3, 5, and 10. I love them all more than anything, but I’ll be the first to admit that our house is constant chaos and it can get very exhausting. My sister (33F) is child free, but loves my kids and was happy to watch the older 2 or sometimes 3 to help me keep my sanity. This has been extremely helpful and I tell her all the time how grateful we are for her help.”
“The thing is that the kids used to go over to her house, but right now they couldn’t because my sister was fostering an elderly chihuahua. My sister claims she couldn’t have them over for the time being because they would stress out the dog. Her dog was extremely frail and timid so I think this was a fair assessment. This was the 4th dog she has fostered, all of which couldn’t be around my kids. This most recent dog took 8 months to find a home for, but most of her other dogs took even longer. When she told me she found an adopter I knew I could finally breathe a sigh of relief and joked about how I was so glad she could babysit again.”
“My sister proceeded to tell me that there was a second dog that desperately needed a new foster, so she planned to take in that one as soon as her current dog was gone. So, she couldn’t do anymore babysitting than she already is (sometimes she comes over to my house in the morning to help out). I could literally feel my stress levels spike. I haven’t ever done this before, but I opened up to her about how much I have been struggling since she got the dog. How little sleep I get each night, how my husband hasn’t been helping as much as he should, and some other deeply personal issues that I’ve been struggling with. Then I asked her, point blank, to not get another dog.”
“She comforted me, but ultimately didn’t agree on anything and said she needed some time to think. I know I am asking a lot of her since rescuing dogs is her passion and that is why I feel so guilty. But I don’t have anyone else to help me. I can’t afford a babysitter long term, and my friends all have their own kids to look after. Above all, my kids will always come before a dog and that’s the reason I was willing to request it. I’ve told a few different people about the situation and gotten a wide range of heavily biased opinions. So that’s why I decided to come on here and as you guys. Was this unreasonable? I would never demand her to do this if she didn’t want to, but is it really so wrong to just be honest my situation and earnestly ask?”
After receiving a tremendous response on her post, she updated it to explain the situation better:
“Edit: I am grateful for the honesty from people respectfully telling me that what I did was wrong. However I have also read a lot of horrible assumptions from people as well and I’d like to clear them up. I am not some careless mother who just keeps ‘popping out children’ that I can’t take care of. My husband is not a deadbeat dad. After our youngest was born he got severe depression. He isn’t out having fun while I’m working 24/7, he is miserable. I went to my sister instead of him for help because I don’t want to lose him. I love my kids and I have always made every one of my decisions with what I believe are their best interests in mind. And no I don’t think my sister is obligated to do anything for me, I was asking for help not demanding it.”
“Edit 2: Insulting my husband doesn’t help anyone. Yes he is in therapy and is on antidepressants. Anyone who has actually dealt with depression would know that that isn’t an instant cure all. Still my husband does the very best he can. I asked my sister because I needed more help than he can provide right now.”
The Responses
Reddit’s community didn’t support this woman for what she did. For context, YTA means “You’re the A**hole.” Here are some of the top responses:
NeverHaveIEver72 wrote:
“YTA. It’s your HUSBAND, the children’s FATHER, you should be requesting more from. Not a sister who has already done way way way more than required!”
“Go sit your husband down and let HIM know you’re struggling. Don’t try to manipulate your sister when you haven’t even tried to fix what’s in your own backyard ..”
MakeupForBarnie said:
“YTA”
“lol”
“Do you even hear yourself? “My sister won’t give up her passion to care for my kids.”
“You said you can’t afford a long term babysitter!!!! You’re using your sister as a long term babysitter?”
Direct-Pineapple8909 commented:
“YTA…I don’t understand why you think your sister is responsible for taking care of your life choices,, but apparently your husband isn’t?”
“Who do you think you are? The entitlement is astonishing.”
“Your kids come first for YOU. Don’t expect other people to put your kids first. I’d never want to baby sit for you again. Very selfish.”
“Yeah, it sucks for you. But that’s on you.”
This post has over 5000 comments at the time of writing this article, you can read them on Reddit here.
Our Take
YTA. It’s not your sister’s responsibility to take care of your children. We all go through difficult situations in life but that doesn’t stop us from doing the best for our children.
What’s Your Take?
What’s your take on this mother’s story? Share your take in the comments below.
Source: Reddit
YTA! Your sister’s passion is fostering dogs. That is what makes her happy and complete.
Your saying that “I would never demand her to do this if she didn’t want to, but is it really so wrong to just be honest my situation and earnestly ask?” Everyone has their own responsibility. Your children are your own and your sister’s responsibility are her fosters.
In my book your entire story was very demanding of your sister. YTA!
Agree if your sister forwent the choice of having human children and chooses to foster dogs that is her choice and YTA to expect her to be your free!!!!? personal babysitter, wow
As someone with depression I can tell you yes the pills don’t cure all but also you and your husband chose to have children. Just because your kids come before dogs to you doesn’t mean they come before dogs to your sister or anyone else for that matter. You and your husband need to work together to take care of your kids. Yta.
Sorry OP but YTA. You’re trying to make your sister give up on her passion which is helping animals to help you care for YOUR kids. They are not her responsibility they are YOURS and your HUSBANDS. He needs to help you not her. Sit down with your husband and figure it out amongst yourselves. If you had been my sister I would have gotten 10 dogs to foster to prove a point that I’m not going to stop what I love doing. Your sisters life does not get to be put on hold because your husband has depression and is refusing to step up and be a dad.