This Reddit story is about a woman in love with a man – she got pregnant with twins, and the man went back to his ex-girlfriend. The “reunited” couple decided to use the pregnant woman as their surrogate upon finding out that they couldn’t get pregnant naturally. She got a lawyer to fight back for the rights of her children.
“I [29F] dated a guy Joe (30M) for 3 months before he left me to go back to his ex Kim (30F). Right after we broke up I found out I was pregnant and now I’m at 24 weeks. I let him know and he was ecstatic. Turns out his girlfriend had fertility issues and would likely never be able to get pregnant naturally and he has always wanted to be a father. Getting back together was out of the question for both of us so he’s still with his girlfriend.”
“Joe was only allowed at the initial appointment because of COVID-19 and we found out I was having twins. According to Joe when he told Kim she had a mental breakdown about her infertility, and wanted to talk to me. I met them at their house and Kim stated that she wanted to be involved in my pregnancy because she would eventually be the children’s stepmother. She started telling me that I needed to do a home birth, that I needed to formula feed so that they could have the babies half of the week, that she wanted one boy and one girl, and that she wanted the kid to call her Mama since they would be calling me Mommy. I shut her down and said I would make the best choices for my children and my body and left.”
“Kim continued to be overbearing and texting me everyday about my eating habits, exercise habits, and bitching about how her job wouldn’t let her take maternity leave. At the virtual genetics counseling appointment, she attended instead of Joe and took over the whole meeting trying to talk about her family history which wasn’t relevant. When it came time for my 20 week level 2 scan, they allowed me one guest and Joe suggested I take Kim instead of him, which I refused to do. Joe did end up coming and he found out the gender because I wanted to keep it a surprise for me so we could throw a gender reveal party. I put a pregnancy announcement on my social media and then she put up an announcement saying they were expecting twins “the non-traditional way” and how blessed she was. I was irritated but I kept my mouth shut. Then she threw a gender reveal party and posted it on social media. I wasn’t even invited. She also announced that she’s having a baby shower. I commented on her posts and told her to stop treating me like a surrogate, that the kids weren’t hers, and that Joe didn’t have any claim or custody of the kids until they are born. I then called Joe and reiterated all of this and stated that I would not be seeing either of them until we went to family court and that my mother would be my birthing partner. He and Kim and some of her friends and family are saying I’m an asshole and her mother even called and insisted I give her one of my babies like this is the Parent Trap? So AITA?”
Upon receiving some serious responses on her post where the Reddit community spoke about how she needed to get a lawyer, she added updates to her story.
“EDIT: I’m definitely getting a lawyer ASAP. Y’all have scared the shit out of me but I’m happy you did.”
“UPDATE: I never considered that this could’ve happened on purpose. We used condoms because I do not react well to hormonal birth control and I had to wait to get a non-hormonal IUD because of other medical issues. The Thursday I posted this, I went to the police and they stated that there was nothing they could do because a crime hadn’t been committed. In my state orders of protection are criminal or family so I was able to get one against Joe. On Friday, I did get a lawyer and they let me know in my state there was nothing I could do as far as custody before the babies are born, so I will be leaving my state soon to ensure that this isn’t my babies home state and I can’t be charged with anything. However, someone sent this post to Kim and she came to my job, damaged my car, and broke a bunch of office windows. I work with kids so she was arrested for not just the criminal damage and trespassing but also child endangerment so hopefully that works in my favor. Also if Joe did it on purpose, I don’t think Kim knew, because she was screaming at me about how I stole her life and everything I had was supposed to be hers.”
“Update: I have orders of protection against both Kim and Joe. I left the state anyway and Joe and Kim started harassing me again because there’s no legal jurisdiction when you leave the state, but I have enough evidence that I was able to press charges in my current state as well and will be pursuing a restraining order here.”
Reddit’s community is our favorite community anywhere in the digital world. They defend you when you’re right, and they tell you off when you’re wrong – simple. Everyone supported her on this woman’s post and told her to protect herself. For context, NTA means “Not the A**hole.”
Reddit user littleredteacupwolf said:
“NTA. Lawyer up, print out and date everything she has sent/posted online and start a binder. This will be your proof that she is not a great person for your kids to be around. You need to protect yourself and those babies because Joe doesn’t seem to care about them, he only cares about her and what she wants. I can be sympathetic to a degree but she is severely overstepping and it’s a bit terrifying. Please protect yourself and those babies.
And their family telling you your should give up one of your babies to them??? They’re insane. Print and date those too.”
Another user, PeanutsLament, said:
“NTA. And frankly, I’d be worried about the children growing up with someone treating their mother that way.”
User Blackstar1401 gave some sound legal advice:
“NTA Record all this and document for court.”
Her post got over 4.8k comments, you can read them on Reddit here.
Definitely NTA. We think this woman is doing the right thing by protecting her babies. No one has the right to tell you how to raise your children, especially when they start harassing you with their ex-girlfriend. We hope this woman finds peace with her twins and is away from the toxic couple.
What’s Your Take?
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