A lot of times, it can be really difficult to tell if you have fully moved on from being in a relationship with someone. You might genuinely believe that you have already gotten over your ex – but then suddenly, you realize that perhaps there are still some feelings that are lingering within you. Perhaps there is still some baggage there that you haven’t let go of. Ideally speaking, you would really know when you’re ready to jump right back into the dating pool. You would know if you’re really ready to give love another try. And if you ever do take that step forward, you would want to make sure that you have completely erased all remnants of your ex from your mind at that point.
You have to know that you are not ready to fall back in love if you haven’t erased all the feelings about your ex from your system. You need to be comfortable with being on your own; with being alone. You need to start accepting that you’re going to live a life without your ex from here on out. And that might not be easy, but it’s definitely a necessary step to finding a healthy love again. And you’re going to have to test this in your loneliest and most vulnerable moments. You’re going to have to ask yourself when you’re at your weakest: “Can I live a life without my ex? Can I go a whole day without thinking about my past relationship?”. If you know that the answer is a definitive yes, then you are probably ready to fall in love again. However, thoughts of your ex can often sneak up on you like a thief in the night. And you might get caught off-guard. But at the end of the day, it’s always going to be hard for any of us to get a good grasp of our feelings. And you can only control what you can control.
So what happens if you have prematurely jumped back into that dating pool? What if you’re already engaged in somewhat serious relations with someone but you still find yourself thinking about your ex every now and then? What if you genuinely believed that you had moved on from your relationship; and yet now, you find yourself thinking about you left things with your ex? Okay. Here’s the truth. Just because the image of your ex occasionally pops into your mind every so often doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re not ready to date someone new. Maybe you’re just ironing out a few kinks in your emotional armor. Maybe you’re just trying to resolve some unaddressed feelings and issues. But also, it might genuinely mean that you haven’t moved on from your previous relationship at all.
This is when it absolutely important for you to engage in some serious soul-searching. You need to be figuring out a way for you to handle the situation that you’re in. And if you’re feeling lost and you don’t know what to do, then this is the right read for you:
1. Try to really analyze what your feelings are and where they are coming from.
It all depends on the gravity of your feelings at this point. If you just so happened to feel a slight annoyance towards your ex; and that’s why you happen to be thinking of them, maybe that isn’t that big of a problem. OR perhaps you are feelings slight pangs of nostalgia, then that can be something a little more serious. Perhaps you might still be carrying heavy doses of anger directed towards your ex. The negative weight of those feelings might be too much baggage for your new relationship. You have to be able to figure out the triggers of these feelings and how serious they really are.
2. Talk to your partner once you have made sense of how you feel.
You owe it to your current partner, to be honest with them about how you feel. And that’s why once you have made sense of your emotions, it’s important that you are able to open up to your partner about how you feel. Let these feelings out. Make sure that you aren’t keeping your partner in the dark. Remember, you need to always maintain honesty in your relationship if you want to have a legitimate shot at making things last. Nothing good is going to come out of you keeping these thoughts and feelings to yourself. You always need transparency in your relationship as you try to move forward.
3. Make a decision on whether you’re ready to be in a new relationship or not.
And once both of you have everything laid out in the open, you both need to make a decision together. You both need to decide if the both of you are going to keep on moving forward in your relationship or not. You have to try to figure out if you have the strength to overcome these unresolved feelings.