The dos and don’ts of breaking up.
Having to end a relationship is always going to be a painful ordeal, but that doesn’t mean that there’s nothing you can do to actually help ease the pain. It may seem almost impossible given the emotional gravity that comes with a breakup, but it isn’t. If you happen to be the one who is initiating the breakup, there is a good chance that you are going to feel guilty and remorseful about the whole situation. If you are the one who is being broken up with, you are the one who is going to have to deal with the pain that comes attached with abandonment and rejection. But the icing on the cake of despair is just the hanging possibility of you never actually really getting over the ill feelings that you are experiencing at the moment. You blame yourself over and over again that the relationship didn’t work out the way that you wanted it to. You think back at the things you could have done better. You think about all the mistakes you could have stopped yourself from making. But at the end of the day, you want to do whatever you can to alleviate the negative emotions that come with breakups. You still hope that you can end things on as high a note as possible with your partner and that’s not unreasonable.
Breakups are very stressful and emotionally draining. That’s why the prospects of actually being able to end things on a high note seem quite bleak. It can be very hard to picture a scenario where the both of you emerge from this ordeal as happy campers. There are plenty of people who approach breakups recklessly. They take the rip the band-aid off philosophy into it and that may not always be the best approach. Sure, it’s quick and it seems efficient. But sometimes, ripping a band-aid off can create significant wounds that may take even longer to heal in the long run. As with anything in life, it’s more important to always approach things methodically rather than recklessly. Not to say that it shouldn’t be done as quickly as possible. No one wants to have to draw out a doomed relationship. But timing is everything in this life. And quick doesn’t always mean good.
There are plenty of reasons as to why you always need to be careful and sensitive with your breakups. For one, the way you breakup with someone can significantly impact the kind of relationship that the both of you might hope to have in the future. Second, the way you break up with a person speaks volumes about the kind of character that you have as an individual. And third, the way hat you break up with your current partner carries huge implications into how you get into future relationships.
So what’s the absolute best way to break up with a person? Well, it all depends on the situation. Here are the 5 worst and the 5 best ways to break up with your partner.
5 Worst Ways:
Character assassinations.
You shouldn’t be badmouthing one another after you breakup. That’s just a direct manifestation of the bitterness you might be feeling. And it won’t look good for either of you.
Self-blame.
Relationships are two-way streets. It’s the same with breakups. You don’t have to be taking full responsibility for the breakup; and neither should your partner.
Ghosting.
This is one of the worst modern trends in the contemporary dating world. There is nothing noble about just straight-up vanishing from a person’s life. If you really want to end a relationship, have the courage and bravery to actually face the music.
Post-breakup stalking.
Don’t be stalking your ex on social media after a breakup. You need to really focus on yourself and/or on future relationships.
Post-breakup fantasizing.
Let go of the what ifs and the what could have been. Live in the present and have an eye for the future. Leave the pain of the past behind.
5 Best Ways:
Prepare for the conclusion of the romance.
Brace yourselves. A breakup is always going to be much easier to deal with when you are able to anticipate it. Things only get harder to bear when it catches you by surprise.
Equally accept the accountability in the breakup.
You shared the love when you were together. Now you should share the responsibility for the both of you breaking up. Regardless of the circumstances, it’s never going to be one-sided.
Maintain respect for one another post-breakup.
Respect each other’s dignity after a breakup. Always make sure that you don’t resort to cheap attacks on each other’s character.
Stick to the boundaries you set for each other.
Set boundaries for your breakup. And respect them. If you agree on having space, then give each other space. Honor whatever boundaries you set for one another.
Be forward-thinking.
Always have an eye for the future. Things may be difficult now, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t eventually get better.
Talk to me
Which side did you land on? Talk to me in the comments below!
