Never downplay the significance of a betrayal in a relationship. There are many feelings and emotions that are impacted by an act of betrayal; and you’re going to need to address these impacts and issues if you are going to want to save your relationship. Yes, betraying your partner can be a huge blow to your relationship; but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world. You still have a shot at trying to fix things especially if you know that you have a mature and forgiving partner who is willing to give you another chance.
But you really need to make sure that you don’t blow your shot. You need to make sure that you do everything right. It’s an uphill climb and you’re really going to have to swallow your pride and work your way out of the hole that you’ve dug for yourself. There are a lot of emotions at play here; and your partner is probably reeling from the devastation of the betrayal. So, you’re really going to have to take so many things into consideration when you try to work your relationship back to health. One false move, and you risk killing your shot at making your relationship work entirely.
You need to be judicious and methodical in your approach to trying to regain the trust of your partner. Trust isn’t necessarily something that you can just superglue back together once it has been broken. You’re going to really dedicate yourself to making things right because you are the one who messed everything up. And if you don’t know where to start in that regard, then this article is going to be perfect for you. While you don’t necessarily have to follow this piece in its entirety, at the very least, it’s going to give you a good place to start.
1. Be accountable and responsible for your role in this situation.
Own up to it. Be mature enough to acknowledge that you’ve done something wrong and that you regret it profoundly. Be mature enough to really accept that you are in the wrong here and that you aren’t trying to cast blame unto anyone else. You need to take responsibility for your own actions to prove that you are willing to move past it.
2. Learn to apologize and make amends.
Ask for forgiveness. Swallow all of that pride and humble yourself. Say that you’re sorry and be ready to accept the penance for your actions. Your partner isn’t necessarily going to forgive you right away; and know that there are certain things that you are going to have to do to get back into your partner’s good graces.
3. Don’t be all talk; back everything up with real concrete actions.
Don’t be someone who is just all about talking the talk. Walk the walk. Yes, words of reassurance can be comforting; they all become meaningless and hollow wen you aren’t able to back them up with any real action. Show your partner that you are actually willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that your relationship gets back on the right track.
4. Be as sincere and as genuine as possible.
You’ve already betrayed your partner once by being insincere and dishonest; don’t make that same mistake twice. Be genuine. Really open yourself up. Let your partner see right through you. Be as transparent as you can be. Make sure that you aren’t giving your partner any more reasons to doubt you. Wear your heart on your sleeve.
5. Show consistency and drive.
Be stable. Be consistent. What you really need to do right now is show a pattern of consistency. This is important because part of presenting yourself as someone who is reliable is being able to follow through whenever expected. You always need to prove to your partner that they can learn to rely on you once more.
6. Prove to your partner that you are recommitting yourself to your relationship.
It’s really all about recommitting yourself to things. You strayed from the path once before and it’s what got you into this mess. Show your partner that you are back on track; and that you are focused on making things right again.
7. Don’t try to rush into anything.
Forgiveness and healing can really take some substantial time depending on who you’re in a relationship with and you have to be aware of that. You can’t be rushing your partner through that process. You can’t be rushing your partner into forgiving you even when they aren’t ready to do so.
8. Be sensitive and be understanding of your partner’s vulnerability.
9. Be open to the idea of new rules and boundaries.
Your partner is going to want to implement certain safeguards; and you’re going to have to be okay with that. Remember that when you betrayed them, you hurt them. And they’re not going to want to get hurt ever again – hence, the need for certain rules and boundaries.