We all work towards getting ourselves a better life, we are running, chasing and at the end of the day we find ourselves still unsatisfied and surrounded by a multiplex of problems. We feel, with every passing day life is becoming harder and more complex. What we don’t realize is, sometimes we are responsible for burdening ourselves with unnecessary pressure, we create those complexities. We live in this illusion of a perfect life, but can’t we all recall having a beaming outlook towards life when we were younger? What happened to that? What happened is, you. The perspectives changed, demands increased and we started accepting negativity. If you are looking to simplify your life then here are a few ways you are making life harder than it is, once you realise it you can finally have contentment.
11. You let fear control you
You are afraid of failure, afraid to take any risks, afraid of rejection. Every time you have to make a decision, you think of the worst case scenario, you fast forward to apocalypse, start thinking of all the things that can go wrong instead of focusing on all the things that can go right. If you don’t take enough risks now, trust me you’ll have a lot of what ifs accompanied with regrets when you’re old. You will never grow if you are scared of change, most of the time the fear is only in our mind, don’t hide out from challenges.
10. You compete with the wrong people
You have focused your view on a few people and made them your competition, with or without them knowing. You get jealous of other people’s achievements, your failures make you bitter. If you want to live a happier life, then stop struggling to fit in someone else’s shoes, everyone has a different journey and if someone else’s life is your focal point, who is looking after your life? The only person you should try to be better than, is who you were yesterday.
9. You attribute negative intent to people’s actions
You take things too personally and over analyze actions. Your boyfriend got late for a date, you think they don’t care for you anymore, В a co-worker didn’t offer you coffee, you think they’re rude. You get offended over the smallest actions of others and assign some ulterior motives to their unintentional shortcomings. If you keep looking deep into everything people around you do, you can never be happy.
8. You procrastinate
It is okay to be a little lazy, who doesn’t like the comforts of their bed. But you are the person who constantly puts things off until tomorrow; want to take up a course, I’ll do it when I have more time, want to ask a girl out, I’ll do it after I get a better job, there is always a ‘tomorrow’ in your case. The more you put off things, the more they’ll pile up and you’ll end up cutting off a few things from the list, and in turn it will make you feel terrible about yourself. It is rightly said, tomorrow never comes, it’s now or never.
7. You don’t move on
You hoard on to bad experiences, bitter memories, negative people, loss. In order to be happy, you need to let go of things that are weighing you down, work towards being happy, make changes. Bad experience? learn and grow from it. Negative people? they invite drama to your life, suck all your happiness, cut them off. Loss of a loved one? make peace with it, accept it and cherish the memories you had with them. Letting go is always hard, but it’s always worth it.
6. You look for shortcuts
Always looking for the easy way out, cutting corners where you can, afraid of working hard. You want to bypass the struggle, even if that means doing the wrong thing. This is a habit of unhappy people, no successful people ever looked for short cuts. It might give you temporary happiness, but in the long run you will have a guilty conscience. Working hard is the only way towards prosperity.
5. You don’t forgive yourself
This is another part of moving on, as much as you need to forgive other people, it is crucial to forgive yourself. You made a mistake, you can’t erase it, the only thing you can do is make amends, make up for that mistake, learn from it and realize that you are a normal human being and we all make mistakes. Happy people are not free of mistakes, it’s just that they’ve risen above those mistakes and made changes for the better.
4. You have high expectations
You have set high benchmarks of being happy, expecting people to go miles for you, you assign unrealistic expectations to people. Your boyfriend forgot your dog’s birthday, your mom didn’t notice your new hair cut, your friend didn’t wish you luck before an interview. You keep expecting from people, higher the expectations, higher will be the disappointments. Instead, if you keep your presumptions down you have a chance of getting pleasantly surprised by the things people do, which will add to your happiness.
3. You only want to take, never give back
There are givers and there are takers, but givers are always more happy than the takers. The satisfaction that comes from giving is incomparable. Get involved with people, spread positivity, volunteer somewhere, you don’t have to give big amounts of charity to become a giver, give someone a compliment, a word of encouragement, even a smile would do, make your presence pleasant, don’t be a difficult person. Give something back, nothing is big or small as long it is spreading smiles.
2. You accept negativity
We all make compromises, which is necessary, but to an extent; you don’t have to lose yourself in the process. If you are surrounded by things that don’t add joy to your life, a job that doesn’t make you happy, a relationship which is going nowhere, a friend who always looks down upon you, trying to be being okay with it all, overlooking your own needs, accepting egotistical and selfish behaviors. Don’t be afraid to lose what no longer serves you, you are responsible for your own happiness and no one else gets to choose for you, stop settling for negativity.
1. You don’t take time to relax
This is important, we all need to slow down a little, life doesn’t stop and there will always be one thing after the other, another goal, another deadline, another commitment. You need to take time out for yourself, give yourself a break, take care of your health. A healthy, relaxed person is a happy person. Every now and then we need to restore our batteries, slow down the chase and allow yourself some time to unwind.