4 Signs That You’re Really Not Meant To Be Together

Sometimes, it’s just not meant to be.

It’s almost innate really. When we search for a person we can fall in love with, we always try to hold them to a certain rubric. We have a checklist in our heads for the kind of people we want to date; the kind of people we could potentially end up spending the rest of our lives with.

A lot of people who are in mature relationships will know that a mere physical attraction is not enough to be able to build love. For sure, it’s a great thing to have in a relationship, but it’s not the only thing to factor into the equation. Physical attraction is only one side of the coin. It’s not enough to tell the whole story.

And as we go deeper into thinking about the people we fall in love with, we also understand that we don’t necessarily have to be dating a person whose personality is an exact carbon copy of ours. We grow to learn that there is always room for a few differences in our relationship. This is why a lot of people will have so much trouble trying to figure out if they are meant to be with someone.

There is just so much room for adjustment and by extension, so much room for error. But to try to put things simply, love is really a conscious choice that people have to make every single day that they’re with someone. It’s not a choice in the sense that you can force yourself to just fall in love with practically any person you’re going to see.

But it’s a choice in the sense that not everything is going to be perfect with how you fall in love with that person, and you are going to have to choose to love this person despite the many flaws and imperfections that may surround your love affair. It’s all about meeting that one person you are willing to endure a million struggles with because you know that at the end of the day, your love is always going to be worth it. It’s all about picking that one person you want to stand with for the rest of your life as you face the many challenges that life may have in store for you.

So granted, we have a lot of work ahead of us as far as finding the one is concerned. The work is real, tangible, and exhausting. Don’t let yourself fall under the delusion that love is going to be simple, easy, and effortless. It rarely ever is the case. Love is always something that you continuously have to work at once you get it. And even then, not even all the effort in the world is going to guarantee you the kind of success that you expect to get. And so you have to take your chances and pick your spots wisely. You have to be making your emotional investments in people and in relationships that actually have a shot at working out.

Because if you’re going to be investing yourself in a relationship with a person you have no shot of being with, you are only going to end up wasting a lot of your time; and you will be setting yourself up for eventual disappointment. So how do you know if you’re really not meant to be the person that you’re currently dating? Well, there are a few signs that you could keep an eye out for. You have to be vigilant to make sure that your heart won’t get hurt in the process. Here are some signs that you’re just not meant to be together.

1. Most of your time in the relationship is spent trying to make the most out of a bad situation.

While relationships were never designed to be constant smooth sails, you know that something is wrong if you’re constantly having to deal with rough waters. It shouldn’t ALWAYS have to be so difficult.

2. You don’t really have a solid friendship going on.


At the base of any real romantic relationship should be a solid friendship. You need to have a strong friendly dynamic going on with your partner if you really think your love is going to last.

3. Your love for one another is more pragmatic than it is emotional.

Whenever anyone asks you why you’re with your partner, you start enumerating a list of practical reasons why it’s logical for you to be in love with one another. But love doesn’t always have to be logical. Real love doesn’t really need lots of reasons.

4. You still think there are some things about your partner that you can change.

Love is also about acceptance and respect. You have to be able to accept the parts of your partner’s personality that make them who they are regardless of whether you like them or not. That’s a huge part of what love really means.

Talk to me

Has this happened to you? Talk to me in the comments below!

  1. I’m learning that some people can’t accept a person’s true honesty. Part of honesty is a change from being dishonest. An oxymoron!
    When you’re 100 percent honest you say what your true feelings are and most people feel that can’t be changed by someone. I have and found that accepting the truth is hard. Example, I had a relationship with her in the past. You tell the one you are in total love with that you don’t have love feelings for her, only as a friend. Also, how can you be a friend to your ex wife! Easy, I don’t hate people, we weren’t honest with each other and grew apart. To accept someone as being totally honest is the hardest part in an honest relationship!

  2. Everything that you mentioned in this video is head on., I’m in love with my wife,but I’m paying a huge price for her love, (((My number one #1 problem is that I love her MORE than she loves me))) As much as I don’t mind feeling this way, it’s really against me , Once a woman knows that her man is totally in love with her, she relaxes and is more confident and secure with me and with her self., Thus giving her more Control in the relationship and dominance!, She love’s this, I’m against this.Also inspite that I’m 16 years older than her and helping her raise 3 now teenagers that are not biologically not mine.Plus her elderly mother living with us and that my wife appears to be more married and into her immediate family then with me, that kind of makes me feel like a cheap 3rd place stamp.I believe that she loves me, and does tell me once in a while, but her actions and ways speak louder than her words to me. It just doesn’t feel right, I don’t understand this kind or type of love?, It’s probably her culture I’m guessing, her being from Central Asia, now an American citizen. I’ve been with her going on 8 years and I still feel the same., I don’t think she will ever really change for me., It is what it is. My only options are to 1) leave the relationship all together and never marry again, be single and free and just casually date , which is sounding and looking like a great option., 2) Just leave things as is and make the best of it all and deal with it, and just hope that maybe the relationship will change more for my benefits and favor then for her and her immediate family. 3) Same as number #2 but to make an additional balance in my life and to make up for what she is NOT doing, for me to finally find a nice Mature female friend who really understands my situation (s) and to fill that empty lost void which my wife Does not care to do. I’m just being really open, direct and honest here, I prefer not to agree with number #3 ,but it seems alot better than number #1 & #2 !

  3. Yes is true. Always we went out on the date. We keep fighting non stop. Even if is a small matter.

  4. Being a person who is in love with non conventional people, I have learned it’s just another way of saying, I am superficial.

    It really takes working on YOURSELF while in a bad relationship that has all of the above. Contrary to what you said, investing in yourself during the bad relationship, will not waste your time. Again, the change occurs in you and not so much expect it from the other person.

    Nowadays there are what is called narcissism out here. Generally the narcissist is attracted to a person with passion and empathy. These are two extremes. The narcissist is no one to play with but if you find yourself in that relationship ‘Names of Flames’ who commented above, I have been advised to run quickly,

    For me, I just found out my spouse has severe emotional issues and that I need to grow a little more emotionally (instead of giving into him) and learn what an authentic person looks like before jumping out and into relationships.

  5. I love her,, gives her everything she need, but i m against her character.. The way she talks to me n behaves sometimes tells me she has no love fr me… Because she cant say she love me and talk to me anyhow,, she wont show up whenever i need her but fix her own day of meeting… She gets angry when i try to no wats going on in her life… She gives excuses when i try to no everything about her family n wat she does…calls me once in awhile to check up on me but calls more wen she needs something from me…. Ohw myy i think i m at the wrong position… Pls help me

  6. Why do someone buy things and take them back, or why do my husband buy things like his furniture is in one of my room he tells my daughter if you can’t keep the room clean, which he’s referring to tissue on the nightstand. He told her she can’t sleep in the room. But it’s his furniture in there. It’s my house . He moved in with me. He had a patio and a room added on to my house and wants to be in control of that too.

  7. Heyyy,,, from few days I am totally depressed 😔. I want your guidance to bring him back in my life. We meet at school. First he purposed me and gave soo many promises that he will never cheat me he will never disrespect me. He is very nice with me for 2 year he will never shouted on me for 2 years. Bust after that he started comming close to me. He kissed me after that first time he shouted on me. We got vary close but after that me started shouting on me. He promised me that he will marry me but now he just want to go away from me. He doesn’t want to live with me. He says he is very frustrated now. I have only one choice there is only one boy in my life I will live with him or otherwise i will die I am not going to marry anyone else except him. We are in a long distance relationship. How should I attract him. I should I make him the way he was with me before. Please help me. I don’t want another man in my life I only want him and if he is not then death.

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