5 Common Reasons Why You Like Someone Who You Shouldn’t
Do you like someone you shouldn’t?
All relationships are always borne out of a mutual attraction between two people. Whenever we happen to meet someone we like and grow attracted to, we grow curious about that person and we do what we can to learn more about them. We will want to explore the person’s character beyond just what we can take from face value.
However, it’s very important to make the distinction between attraction and love. Just because you happen to like someone doesn’t automatically mean that you are in love with them. And in a related point, you can be attracted to someone who is also starting t grow attracted to you but that doesn’t mean that you are in a loving relationship already. You have to be able to look into the factors and the motivations that surround this attraction. When things are just starting out, the attraction that you have with your partner might look the same as the attraction that exists in other relationships; but that is rarely ever the case. People are inherently unique and so all relationships are going to be unique as well.
We have to remember that we can’t always trust our feelings. Our emotions can often blind and betray us. They only fuel our biases and they can cloud our judgement. When left unchecked and uncontrolled, our feelings can often lead us to make bad decisions about our lives and relationships.
Whenever we grow an attraction for a person, we are often guilty of merely focusing on the positive aspects of that person’s character. We often blind ourselves to the negative and toxic behaviors that they might be exhibiting. In an effort to only fuel our attraction, our minds will trick us into believing that there is nothing wrong about the person we’re interested in. We can get desperate to be in a relationship with them that we might fail to notice that their attraction towards us is merely fueled by materialistic or shallow motivations. Wen that’s the case, there is a disconnect there that could make for a potentially destructive, toxic, and dysfunctional relationship between two people.
Both people must always be motivated by the same kind of attraction for one another if they are to make a relationship work between the two of them. If one is looking for a real passionate love and the other is only interested in lust, then that could spell trouble for the couple.
Unfortunately for us as human beings, we aren’t gifted with the power to read minds and predict human behavior. There are plenty of times wherein we can get duped into thinking that a person feels a certain way towards us only to have our assumptions blow up in our faces. And it can really hurt to discover that the person you’ve become emotionally invested in doesn’t turn out to the person you thought they would be. And you always want to make sure that you protect yourself from that kind of emotional pain. And you can only really protect yourself if you start to understand your own feelings and why it’s possible for you to grow attracted to a person who is bad for you.
1. You see this person as someone who needs your help
You know that they are very flawed and imperfect. You see that they really need your help. You know that they would crumble and vanish into nothingness if you sit by and do nothing. So you see staying with them as some act of charity or service a responsibility you can’t turn your back on.
2. You believe that your love will be able to change this person.
You might be clinging on to a false sense of optimism. You might still believe that you can love this person so hard that you could turn them into the people you want them to be. But the fact of the matter is that people only ever really change if they want to.
3. Your partner guilts you into staying with them.
Guilt is also a very common tool that toxic people use in relationships to get their innocent partners to stay with them. Be very wary of this trap. Guilt should never be a motivator for falling in love with someone.
4. Your misinformed friends convince you to go after this person.
While it’s good to heed the advice of your trusted friends and family, the final decision about the direction of your love life should still ultimately lie with you.
5. You think that you’re in love with them.
Love is far too complex a feeling and emotion. It’s not something that anyone can merely simplify or generalize. And so even though you might think that you’re in love with this person who is bad for you, it might not necessarily be the case. Or it could be. No one can tell for sure. The point here is that we just can’t help who we love sometimes.
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