Why do always things end badly for me? Why I am always the one who doesn’t know what true love really feels like?
These are the questions that swamped me many times in my life and I had no answer to them, so I started thinking that everything bad is destined to happen to me. Like, I was finally getting my comeuppance which was due for a long time. I was shrouded by this cloud of emptiness, so I stunted my individual growth and resorted to being a nihilist. Nothing had meaning and I stopped trying. I was in this existential crisis and everyday was no different from the next.
Some people think that hope will destroy them and envisioning the future will only trap them in a dilemma. Although, that might be partly true but the pursuit of love is both a cerebral and physical one and you can’t expect to get true love if you’re not willing to take risks in life. You have to get hurt and you have to bear the brunt of your mistakes and move on in life to achieve something.
If you haven’t found true love yet, there might be a pattern, a pattern you’re oblivious to. Here are some things that might be hindering you from finding love.
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Giving Everyone an equal chance
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you’re not supposed to find hot people attractive. This society has put all the wrong things in our head. Like, sometimes we just think that if we give an average looking guy a chance with a good personality and a big heart, it will alleviate our social status.
Come on, if you find a person who loves you and cares for you, give them a good chance, and go for it if you have the same feelings for them. Forget about what the society thinks. This society only values materialistic things which have no soul.
Our skins will wither away but our naked souls will stay youthful till the day we die. If you get someone who looks like David Beckham and actually possesses his personality, then you’ve hit the jackpot.
Your guy isn’t supposed to be a saint. He must be okay with who you are and accept you as you were made and ready to bear with your evolution over the years.
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You Past still haunts you
The past is a terrifying place to live in. Everyone has experiences that hold them back from getting what they want. Our insecurities rule over us like Kings and Queens.
Sometimes you want to love someone with all your heart but you mess it up and you hold yourself back from true love because you think that it won’t end well. You think that your past will repeat itself and leave you shattered. Life is all about taking chances and Love demands risks.
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You have stopped growing Individually
We accept the love we think we deserve. If we don’t grow individually and don’t make ourselves better and love worthy, then we will never go for someone we truly deserve. We will always settle for something average. True Love isn’t average.
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The Timing is just wrong
Sometimes, the time isn’t right. Time is an important factor when it comes to true love. Sometimes, you’ve found someone you truly love but you’re both going separate ways and it just doesn’t work out.
However, if you truly love someone, then you have to stay hopeful and keep on doing the right things and preserve the same person someone fell in love with. Never rule out the possibility of meeting with your one true love again. Keep them in your heart and believe that the universe has a plan.
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You’re going for someone who will never love you
Unrequited love is one of the worst things anyone can face. It completely destroys your self-esteem. When you love someone, it is hard to let go of them. Time can add sentiment to everything. If you love someone and they don’t reciprocate your love and you’re not trying to get over them and hanging on to the possibility of something that will never happen, you’re making things worse for yourself with every passing minute.
You’re missing out on someone who is out there. Someone who can love you wholeheartedly, someone who can show you what true love really feels like.
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You think you will lose your freedom
Loneliness is addicting. It’s freedom in the purest form. You don’t have to listen to anyone. You don’t have to fulfil anyone’s expectations and you can do what you want. The thing with Loneliness is that its effects are short-lived and sooner rather than later, you will need someone. When you’ve got a taste of something so sweet, you’re scared to compromise it. However, you don’t realize that a relationship isn’t meant to constrict your freedom. Someone who loves you truly won’t make you feel claustrophobic.
Have you found true love yet? If not, what are the reasons you think are holding you back from finding true love? Please let us know! We would love to hear you out.
I’ve found and experienced love I think a few to meant times in my life and married one even though I knew she wasn’t the one. (She was in a ‘bad’ relationship,) and my now stepdaughters were not in a good place for their health or sanity. I guess I thought I could make everything better for them and there mother. I think I fell in love with my daughters when I first saw them. Well I rented a place and had them moved out of that bad place into what i thought would be a loving household. Mine. I had just meet their mom a few nights before I met them, in a bar. She managed to hook me right out of the crowd and went home with me that night. In the proceeding few days, she told me some Whopper stories about her and my daughter’s lives right away. So I took them away from the abuses from her ex. Needless to say, she was a great liar. I didnt know about her life and she spread it on thick. Unfortunately she manipulated and worked me like a newborn. It was about a month into our marriage that i found the true nature of her soul and that if her infidaities. I didnt think that she was an alcoholic and abusive when she is drinking and quit friendly with her male ‘friends’. I couldn’t tell you how many times when i got off work that I’ve caught her ‘laying down keeping warm’ with her friends, after a while, i just stopped caring. What i wish that i could do that i couldn’t is protect my daughters from her. I was working all the time trying to support my new family. I was still living with my parents at the time that i met her. In my eyes, it was my responsibility to raise my family the ‘right way’. Needless to say. I now realize, that I didn’t want to know what was going on in my house while I was gone at work. I usually worked the night shift and so did my ex. I had never married before this and her 4th marriage. Like I said, I worked a lot, had lots of money, bills paid, good health insurance, etc; living the American dream or so i thought. I was so gullible at 31yo. I thought i found my true love in 3 weeks we were married. With in 6 months we put a good down payment on a house in the town that we (my parents and I) moved to after the flood. I still live in this town and have yearned to move away from several times. Though i know i won’t move while my parents are still living. I feel very close and obligated to my parents for giving the best that they could through out my life and my other sibling. 3 boys, 2 girls. They raised us up the best they could though their education wasn’t the best, back then it didn’t need to be. Dad always had a job and very seldom missed a day of work in my life that i can recall. He was and still is my role model, even though i know if never be able to live up to example. He just turned 84 during this pandemic of 2020 that we’re going through. They’ve been staying home during the quarantine, but even as dangerous as it is they do get out to the store during senior hours that wal mart and dollar general. But for the most part I do the majority of the running, is the least i can do for them. Sorry that was a detour. Lol needless to say, I have fallen in Love many, many times. I just haven’t let myself fall in Love with the one that’s going to be good to me as well as i will her. I knew that my ex was cheating on me from day 1. Why it took me 15 years to divorce her, I’ll never know. Even after our daughters moved out on their own long before i kicked her out to live with her lover at least one of them. I know that she had sex with at least one of his sons. That’s karma for ya.Lol go figure. I guess I did luck out though. She’s now 61. Alcohol had taken its toll her looks and health. Last time i saw her she looked like she was 90. Unfortunately, Her husband just died. He served his country faithfully and agent orange finally took its toll once again, he left her with a sizable sum of money and a few acres of land. I’m now 55, never married again though i have lots of ‘friends’. When you trust to many people with your heart it has a tendency to turn to stone. I still have my health (thank you Lord) and my looks, thanks to my father’s genetics, i still look a good 15 years younger than i am, I’m not a braggart but have had many women half my age take a few double takes and have actually taken the chance to get to know me. Unfortunately, I have a tendency to be antisocial and put off a tough exterior to others. I don’t mean to be, it’s just the way it is. It really takes a special woman to break through my barriers, or just some one special enough to look into my eyes and touch my broken soul and brave enough to stay. There is such a woman, we’ve dated some and she has touched my soul and i haven’t a clue why I’m ignoring her. She’s truly a great woman and has a wonderful soul. I know i love her, though she may never know. It’ss kind of stupid when you get right down to it. The love that I’ve actually looked most of my long life for staring my in the face and i ignore it though I know it’s there for me anytime of the day or night. All I’d have to do is call her and tell her how I feel knowing that love will be returned 100% and maybe even more. So yes I’ve found an abundance of Love in my life, I just don’t think that I’m deserving of her. She’s a true woman, smart and has a perfect soul for me but yet I run away. So you tell me, what the hell is wrong with me?