Don’t be so hard on yourself.
Breakups are really difficult to deal with. Moving on and getting over a person that you once were in a loving relationship is no easy feat, but it isn’t impossible either. Even though it feels like you’re never going to be okay again, you have to know that you have the strength to pull yourself through. You are actually strong enough to pick yourself up and make yourself whole again. You don’t need a relationship to be happy. In fact, you never did. All you needed was yourself and a healthy perspective on life. You just have to choose to live life in the healthiest way possible.
But of course, there’s no downplaying the sad state that you are in now. You are emotionally vulnerable and you really have a difficult time finding your strength in this difficult situation. But don’t dread it. You are going to be okay eventually, even if it takes you a really long time. You are going to be able to get yourself back to normal eventually, but for now, you just have to sit tight and deal with your sadness constructively.
Now while you might want to be okay right away, you have to allow yourself to grieve and actually go through this phase of sadness at your own pace. You can’t afford to rush through it because you might end up carrying this emotional baggage for the rest of your life without knowing it. So it’s important for you to really deal with your emotions head on at the moment. But of course, it might help you to know that there are constructive means for you to be dealing with your emotions. Here are a few things that you need to remember when you’re going through a difficult breakup.
1. It’s okay to turn to others for help, but you can’t rely solely on them.
At the end of the day, you really have to remember that you can only really depend on yourself. You have to be self-dependent. You are the only one who can make yourself whole gain. You are the only one who can find the happiness that you so desperately need.
2. Allow yourself to let go and detach from everything in the past.
You have to allow yourself the space to move on and you can’t do this if you keep on carrying the weight of the past with you. You will want to be as light as a feather as you step into the future, and that can only happen if you let go of the past.
3. Focus on the things that you can control.
Not everything is going to be within your control in life and that’s okay. You probably already knew that. You just have to remind yourself of it. You can’t control how other people are going to be treating you but you do get to control how you react to these people and how you act in particular situations.
4. Be wary of unhealthy addictions and avoid them at all costs.
When you are in a relationship, you will tend to develop a routine with your partner. That routine signifies comfort and stability. And so when the relationship ends, a void ends up forming in your life. You will want to find another routine that you can fall back on. Sometimes, other people will resort to unhealthy addictions to fill that void and that’s wrong. You are only destroying yourself even further. Try taking up a healthy routine like exercise or reading.
5. Look at everything that you’ve built for yourself on your own.
It can hurt to know that you’re no longer in a relationship with someone, but you should never feel bad about being on your own. Whenever you start to feel yourself getting sad about being alone, think of all the accomplishments in your life that you manage to do yourself.
6. Learn from your mistakes and don’t cry over them.
You’ve made your fair share of mistakes. And maybe these mistakes contributed to your breakup. But that doesn’t mean you have to wallow over these mistakes for the rest of your life. You don’t have to constantly beat yourself up for them. Don’t cry over spilled milk. Get a mop. Clean the mess. And move on.
7. Take some time to really be alone.
Don’t fight the solitude. Sometimes, some individual soul-searching can be very therapeutic for a person who is going through some heavy emotional trauma. Just take this opportunity to really be alone and just focus on your own feelings and emotions. Block out all the distractions and prioritize your well-being over everything else.
8. Don’t rush through your sadness.
Allow yourself to be sad. Let it come. You are only human and sadness is a part of what makes you human. So let it flow through you. Accept it as it comes like a friend, and say goodbye when it leaves.
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