This is not a joke.
You have to try being with someone who treats you terribly. This is not a joke. There is nothing ironic about it. Of course, you’ve read so many pieces telling you that you have to fight for that love story that you think that you’re deserving of. You’ve been told so many times to never settle for a person who you think is beneath you. Your friends and family constantly advise you to just be to just be with someone who treats you like a monarch. You are constantly told that you need to pursue that romantic Hollywood movie kind of love story because you deserve nothing less than that. But you’ve got to let go of all that. You have to just ignore everything that you’ve been taught up to this point. You have to detach yourself from these delusions of grandeur. You have to let go of your dreams of finding yourself in that fairytale story someday.
You know what you should really do at this point? You have to be with someone who treats you terribly. You have to be with someone who makes onlookers scratch their heads and ask why you would ever be together. You have to be with someone who will force your family to reassess the state of your mental health. You have to be with someone who treats you like you’re nothing. That’s the absolute truth and it’s no joking matter.
You have to be with someone who is rarely going to reply to your text messages in a prompt manner. Actually, it could practically even be considered a miracle that he ever replies to you at all. You have to be with someone who constantly makes fun of you and demeans you. This is a person who never shows you the respect that you deserve. This is the person who constantly invalidates your opinions and your feelings. This is the person who makes you feel like you don’t matter. You have to be with someone who practically puts up walls and fences around their hearts so that you can’t get in. This is a person who never really becomes fully comfortable with just letting you in. This is a person who would never want to become vulnerable for you. You have to be with someone who constantly uses, abuses, and manipulates you. This is a person who objectifies you; who treats you like you’re some sort of tool for pleasure. You have to be with someone who makes you feel small and insignificant. This is someone who makes you feel expendable; like somehow, you can be easily replaced because they don’t really care much about you. You have to be with someone who never shows up when you need them; this is a person who is only ever really there when it’s convenient for them to be. You have to be with someone who couldn’t care less about your innermost desires; someone who completely disregards your needs and expectations in the relationship. This is a person who never asks you about how you’re feeling or what you need. This is a person who seemingly takes no interest in your life. You have to be with someone who is too proud to actually apologize to you. This is a person who would never compromise their ego for the sake of the relationship. You have to find someone who just plain doesn’t give you or your relationship much thought.
Be with someone who treats you terribly.
Just be with them. Really take the time to get to know them. Try to let yourself become vulnerable to them. Fall in love with them. Feel the pain and the sorrow that they cause you on a daily basis, but still continue to fight for the relationship. Make yourself blind to just how bad things really are. Blunt yourself from the pain. Become this person’s daily punching bag and keep coming back for more. Be okay with the sadness that you feel constantly because of this relationship. Really fight for the love that you know will probably never be reciprocated. Just try to tell yourself that everything is going to turn out fine. Tell yourself that things are going to change eventually and that you’re going to find happiness with this person if you just remain patient.
Really love this person with all of your heart, mind, and soul even when all logic is saying otherwise.
And then after that, become heartbroken. Hit rock bottom. Because it’s only at this point where you really understand and realize just what it is you really need from relationships. It’s during this point where you really discover what you’re made of and what you really deserve. It’s through this heartbreak where you really know the kind of relationship you need to be looking for. And you won’t ever settle for anything less than that ever again.