Men, do you agree?
Think of a romantic relationship as a series of levels that you and your partner have to go through together. And making the transition from the level of dating and getting to know one another to the level of actually being in a serious relationship with each other is a huge step. In fact, it’s probably one of the most important paradigm shifts that a couple in a relationship could possibly go through with one another. It takes a whole lot of courage and resolve for two people to let themselves be vulnerable; especially for the guy. The guy always puts so much pressure on himself to be strong, cold, and distant because he thinks that being emotional is a sign of weakness. And so it takes him so much longer to be okay with becoming vulnerable to another girl in a relationship. In fact, it’s a lot more likely for men to deal with commitment issues than it is for women. A lot of guys will take much more time to grow comfortable with actually getting serious with a girl. And that’s because they are weighing so many things in their mind before they actually come to a decision. Girls are just more naturally in tune with their emotions than men are, and that’s why they are much slower when it comes to coming to terms with how they really feel.
It doesn’t even matter how great of a girl you might be. A lot of men are just going to need plenty of time and space to actually make the decision to just commit to you. And that’s not your own fault. It’s theirs. So don’t go blaming yourself. Don’t go thinking that you’re just not someone who is worth taking a chance on. Men are just inherently slow when it comes to matters of the heart and you shouldn’t blame yourself for that. He isn’t necessarily putting things off either. He isn’t avoiding the situation. He’s just considering everything and he wants to be very thorough with his considerations before he decides to take the next step. However, the truth remains that the decision to wait for him is still entirely up to you. If you feel like you don’t have the patience to wait for him to actually come to a decision about your relationship, then you have every right to just leave him and move on.
However, before you do make that decision, it would be best for you to better understand your man first. You don’t want to recklessly abandon a perfectly good relationship either just because you couldn’t see things from his perspective. So in order for you to better understand why he’s taking so long, perhaps you should read the rest of this article. Here are 9 common things that he asks himself before he decides on taking that next step in the relationship:
1. Can I imagine myself having a future with her?
It’s all about having eyes for the future. He wouldn’t want to waste your time and lead you on even if he didn’t see himself being with you for a long time.
2. What changes should I prepare for when we take that next step?
He knows that this is a big step in a relationship and he just wants to make sure that he’s prepared for it so that he doesn’t end up messing everything up.
3. Am I in the right place emotionally to be in a relationship?
He has to make sure that he has the emotional capacity to really get serious with you.
4. Are we taking things too fast?
He doesn’t want the pressure of time to be a factor at all. He wants to take things to the next level on its own merits; not because it’s what’s expected of him to do so.
5. Are there still important things about her that I don’t know about?
He doesn’t want to get blindsided with anything. He wants to make sure that he knows you well enough to actually commit to you.
6. Would she even agree to me wanting to take things to the next level?
He understands that it’s not entirely up to him. He wants to make sure that you’re also comfortable with making that jump before he decides on anything.
7. Have I completely moved on from previously failed relationships already?
Before getting serious with you, he wants to ensure that he has ridden himself of any toxic emotional baggage that might have plagued him in the past.
8. Am I okay with locking myself down with someone?
He first wants to determine if he would actually be okay with living that monogamous lifestyle.
9. Is my life stable enough to actually sustain a relationship?
It’s not just a matter of willingness. He also has to consider if he has the time and strength within him to actually sustain a relationship with you.
Talk to me
Men, let me know your thoughts in the comments below!
These 9 thoughts will be done by a boy as he’s not confident himself (no.8 reinstates the lack of self confidence). Man who is in touch with the self awareness correctly assess his observations. To man up, the first point itself should be “will I be able to live without her in future?”.