This story was shared by Reddit user, foodormoney, on AITA (Am I the A**hole?) where he asked if he was wrong for telling his girlfriend to not eat so much at grandma’s house when she can’t afford to feed them so much.
The Story
He wrote:
“I know the title sounds bad but this is a pretty specific situation so please hear me out. I (26M) have been dating a woman we will call Ashley (26F) for about 3 months. Ashley grew up financially well off and relatively privileged and it has been a point of friction in our relationship with her not understanding/grasping the level of poverty I and my family grew up with. It is also relevant to this story that Ashley is a heavier person and is a very vocal advocate for body positivity and will very assertively stand up to anyone fat $haming herself or others.”
“The other person who is relevant to this story is my grandma (70). My grandmother is a wonderful woman but she is both very proud and very broke. She likes to have us over for dinner and is an excellent cook but financially she can’t really afford it. She refuses to take any money from me or anyone else and won’t let anyone bring food saying its her responsibility to take care of the family. She also takes offense if you turn down the invitation. About a month ago we had dinner with her and Ashley liked the food so much she went back for second and third large portions. This is not done is my family, we all take a single small portion, as the leftovers are what my grandmother has to eat for the week so Ashley taking more meant my grandmother didn’t eat for the next couple days.”
“After the dinner I explained this to Ashley and she was shocked. I tried to bring my grandmother food but she refused the ‘charity’ out of pride.”
“My grandmother has invited us to dinner again this weekend. Before we go I tried to have a discussion with Ashley re-iterating my grandmothers financial situation and asking that she try to only take a single smaller portion so my grandmother can have food for the week. I said we could go eat again after the meal if she was still hungry. Ashley got very angry at this and said ‘she will NOT be $hamed for her eating, she will NOT limit her food and that NO ONE other than her decides when she’s had ‘enough’ food’ she also said I was fat $haming her.”
“This whole ordeal has highlighted alot of incompatibility issues and I don’t know if the relationship is going to last but just want some other opinions on if I’m the AH. AITA for asking my gf to limit her eating?”
He updated his post to add some context to his story, writing:
“EDIT: alot of people are asking why I didn’t tell my gf before the first meal. To be frank I didn’t think of it. It hadn’t occurred to me that someone would go to someone elses house and eat two days worth of food in a sitting.”
The Responses
Reddit’s community was on the fence about this one. A lot of them said NTA – “Not the A**hole.” Here are some of the top comments:
puffalump212 said:
“Oh I was ready with a judgment with the title and first paragraph but…”
“NTA.”
“She could eat before or after. You are not $haming her. She just doesn’t care about grandma. That’s not a great quality.”
ZampyZero wrote:
“She’s literally taking food out of your grandma’s mouth. The fact that she still have attitude after you explained the situation…. She’s a massive asshole. NTA. Dump her.”
GoldenFrog14 shared:
“NTA. You can be positive about something to the point of being toxic, and that is where Ashley is at.”
“I’ve been there before. I had a friend spend the night as a child. When my mom made breakfast for the family the next morning, he ate so much that my mom did not get a chance to eat (he was from a more well-off family where portions never needed to be controlled). I told him about it, he understood, and that was that. We were in like 5th grade. If a literal child can grasp it, then she should be able to. She might have her own issues that she’s projecting, but when she’s putting that over your grandmother’s well-being then it is selfish, full stop”
cassowary32 replied:
“NTA. Ashley needs to go. You need to figure out a way to feed Grandma though, I don’t know if it’s culture, a sign of mental decline or if she has an ED herself, but starving herself while feeding others isn’t healthy.”
“Does anyone have power of attorney or access to her bank accounts? You all need to make accepting help a condition of your showing up for dinner.”
This post has over 3000 comments, you can read them on Reddit here.
What’s Your Take?
What’s your take on this man’s situation? Share your take in the comments below.
Source: Reddit
