Motherhood is one of the hardest tasks in the world – but it’s also one of the most rewarding. But when a woman is meant to raise a child at a very young age, she’s oftentimes not prepared to do so. Such is today’s story of a woman who made a few mistakes in her early life and is still suffering the consequences.
“So, I was probably a month over eighteen when I got pregnant. My boyfriend was very controlling, always yelled, screamed and after were married it got even worse. I stayed with him for eight years and I ended up falling in love with my current husband Arthur during that time. I know we were wrong to have an affair and I deserve hate for that. I mean, it cost me my daughter Sophia (now 21).”
“I should have been stronger and just left my ex cause I doubt he even needed to brainwash her to make her hate me. I tried to be there, I tried to fight for shared custody but Sophia wanted nothing to do with me. After my ex got remarried, Sophia got a great stepmother who she asked to legally adopt her when she turned fifteen. I didn’t want it to happen and wanted to fight it but if me being her mom hurt her so much she wanted a new one, I let it because it was my fault and I’d already lost her long ago.”
“After she legally stopped being my daughter, I reconnected with Arthur, we got married, had a daughter and I’m pregnant with our boy right now. I’d still see Sophia since she’d go to my mom’s house a lot cause that was still her grandma even if I’m not her mom. My mom, however, died two weeks ago and it’s caused a lot of chaos in everybody’s lives. Now, we have that weird tradition where the eldest daughter gets a collection of special necklaces. I was the eldest, so I got my mom’s special necklaces and wore one to her funeral just like she did to her mom’s funeral.”
“At the funeral, when Sophia saw me, she shook my hand like I was a stranger and just said ‘Sorry for your loss Mrs. Rey’. Then after the funeral she pulled me aside and asked if she would be allowed to take some of a necklace early because she’d like to wear it to the wake. I just told her no, that the necklaces are mine and after me, they’d belong to my daughter, because she is the eldest in my family. She just said ok and didn’t talk to me at the wake except to say thanks for when I gave her my mother’s much more valuable rings. My brother told me I should have let her have some of the necklaces and I was an a**hole not to. The thing is, my mother was the last thing tying Sophia to me, so I don’t see how I’m the a**hole for what I did.”
Reddit’s community was on the fence about this one. A lot of them said NTA – Not the A**hole. While others said YTA – You’re the A**hole. Here are some of the comments:
“NTA. Sophia may be your daughter by blood, but she is no longer your daughter in any other sense of the word. Because she no longer wants to be your daughter, your heirlooms should go to children who will view you as their mother.”
“If your brother wants to give Sophia some of his things, let him. He doesn’t get to dictate to you, and he’s an AH for trying. Tell him where to stuff it.”
“NTA. You made some poor decisions long ago. Your ex being the biggest one, but your eldest daughter has made her own decisions, calling you Mrs Rey must have hurt. I hope you all can move on in time.”
“NTA she doesn’t see you as a mother legally or emotionally, let alone family. So she doesn’t qualify as a daughter, you were kind enough to give her the rings.”
onlyangel96 chimed in:
“I’m gonna get downvoted but YTA. You could try acting like a mother now since you didn’t for all of Sophia’s childhood. She’s still your daughter. You were the one that made the bad choices and it’s entirely on you how this relationship has gotten messed up. It would absolutely not hurt for you to give her a necklace and for you to say that she won’t get them because she isn’t the oldest (WHEN SHE IS) is BS.”
“You made a lot of choices and decisions, but never once have you stepped up for this child. You let your feelings regarding your ex husband color how you felt about YOUR child and just because she got a stepmother, you felt like you should just give her up? Lady, you’re a piece of work. You are acting like you didn’t carry her and didn’t raise her for eight (8) years! What is wrong with you? Forget the relationship with you, but she did have a relationship with your mother and she was your mother’s eldest granddaughter. For that she should have been given the necklaces.”
This post has over 1.5k comments at the time of writing this post, you can read them all on Reddit here.
What’s Your Take?
Which side are you on? Do you think she did the right thing or not? Share your thoughts in the comments below.