Financial transparency is one of the most vital parts of a relationship. Unless two people are on the same wavelength about managing their finances, their relationship will go through tough times in the long run. We always recommend every couple to sit down and discuss finances openly and without any unrealistic expectations.
Today’s Reddit post comes from ThrowRA9876234, she posted her question in the Relationship Advice subreddit. She said:
“My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over two years. We are both currently in the same city but living separately. I am graduating from college in a few weeks and am planning to start applying for graduate schools. Currently I do not have any employment nor do I plan on making any money in the next few years. Luckily my family is able to support me through graduate school and pay my expenses.”
“My boyfriend currently makes around $300k/ year and just received a job offer in a city across the country that would pay him over $500k/ year after bonuses. He wants me to move with him to this new city. I am fine with the idea of moving there, even though it is not my first choice of places to live. I could probably attend graduate school there.”
“The only issue is he wants me to pay half the rent and half of all our expenses. This would amount to around $2500/ month. My family is capable of providing me with this money, but we are not exorbitantly wealthy so it is a lot of money for us. My family also thinks it is really unreasonable for my boyfriend to ask me to pay these expenses when he makes enough money to support the both of us easily. My boyfriend thinks it is completely reasonable for my family to pay these expenses for me.”
“Do you think what my boyfriend is asking for is reasonable or not?”
After receiving a lot of feedback on her post, she updated her story and explained how she broke up with her boyfriend.
UPDATE:
“Thanks for all the replies everyone. The one thing I left out of the original post is that I already decided prior to making the post that I was not going to stay with my bf because it was obvious our views on finances were simply incompatible. I also know my worth and know that I can find someone who treats me a lot better.”
“I was curious to see what others thought, and I am pleased that most of you have validated my feelings.”
“After I told my bf that I was breaking up with him, he completely changed his tune and said that he did not want me to pay expenses and that he would actually pay me a monthly allowance to live with him. By that point it was too late to fix things, however, and I decided that we should go our separate ways.”
“To the people who think this is fake or a troll post, it’s not. When my bf and I started dating he was still a poor student completing his PhD and working as a research assistant. He then got a job at a hedge fund and that salary is very typical for his role. Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction.”
The Responses
Reddit’s community told this woman to save herself from being in a toxic relationship. Everyone supported her and showed love. Here are some of the best comments:
NotYourMommyDear said:
“That age gap indicates he would kick you to the curb before you reach his age and try replacing you with another young 20-something.”
“Don’t bother. The income disparity would likely continue because you won’t have time for grad school as you’ll be kept busy being his b*ngmaid and cleaning up after him, especially once he locks you in with a child.”
whatdoyoumeancookie wrote:
“Where I come from we share our excess wealth with loved ones, we don’t send them a bill. I would be so offended by this if I were you. Please go to grad school somewhere else and get your own life going. You’re gonna be awesome!!!”
realstevied commented:
“Don’t do it. I’m 44M and any man that is making that type of money and asking you to move to a different city and move in with him but wants to split all bills 50/50 is not worth uprooting your life for and putting you and your family into unnecessary financial stress.”
“This doesn’t seem like someone I would want to keep dating after he showed his true colors. He’s selfish or just very immature in terms of the way he views women. Probably has some warped view of his self worth and thinks women are only gold digging people who are only after his money and this is his way of compensating for that.”
“If you still want to be with him I would just go to grad school vlose to your family and then just see each other long distance for a while and keep it that way until he makes a real commitment. Anyways good luck in whatever u decide to do”
This post has over 300 comments, read them on Reddit here.
Our Response
We think she did the right thing by breaking it off with this man. He shows a lot of toxic traits and doesn’t show a lot of emotional respect for the woman.
What’s Your Response?
What would you say to this woman? Let us know in the comments below!
Source: Reddit
Understand one thing once and for all., Men are ONLY obligated to pay for their wives., Not girlfriends, wanna be girlfriends, side chic or any thing “chic”!!!
If you wanna be treated like a wife then marry the MAN! I wouldn’t want to live in today’s world.. Men and Women living together Is fine.. for a short while but the relationship between the two should be going somewhere !