To tell you the truth, it had just gotten to the point where I was so sick and tired of dating guys who I felt were just far too immature for me. And so I made it a rule to never date a guy unless he would be way older than me. Because at that time, I really thought that old age automatically translated to more maturity. However, I later grew to find out the hard way that age is but a number – and maturity has got nothing to do with how young or old you are. It really is a mindset that you have to adopt for yourself regardless of your age.
I should have seen the signs early on. I started dating this older guy and things didn’t really get off to a solid start. For one, he was too chicken to ask for my number himself. He had to go through a mutual friend and I should have known then and there that something was wrong. But I shrugged it off. We had met in a random club one night. He was expressing an interest in me and I honestly thought that he was a cool guy despite his relatively advanced age.
And then after a few days had passed, my friend had told me that he had been asking for my number. And again, I didn’t think much of it and I told her that she could go ahead and give it to him. In any case, I had already told myself that I was done with dating men my age; that I was interested in dating older guys. So the moment that the first opportunity to do so presented itself, I just grabbed it. I wasn’t necessarily prowling for a boyfriend at the time. I was just looking to experiment a little bit and so I took a chance on him.
I got the initial warnings. He was probably a player. I mean, he was in his 40s and I’m sure that he had had his experience in the romantic field. And I knew that it should have been a red flag that he was still single at that age but I didn’t want to judge him outright. I wanted to give him a chance. I wanted him to prove my theory that dating older guys would be better than dating younger and immature ones. Besides, I wasn’t really planning on investing myself all too seriously into this relationship. I was just looking to test the waters.
So I wasn’t really scared. I didn’t really consider it to be a big deal at that point. I even went into it thinking that it would be a potential learning experience for me. And I was right. I ended up learning so many things about age and maturity. So he took me out. And when I say that he took me out, he literally just told me that he wanted to go “out” with me. He didn’t really give me any specifics or details. I told him yes and I waited for him to follow up on the details when the day eventually came. And I waited. And I waited. And eventually, I waited more.
But then I never heard from him. So I decided to text him first instead. I told him a few expletives and I told him to never contact me again. He had no right to just ditch me like that. Of course, he was so quick to reply with his excuses and apologies. He was so quick to say that he had to have an emergency dinner with his friend and that he had just lost track of time – and that’s why he couldn’t text me. He asked me to give him a second chance and I was foolish enough to do so.
And then we went out on a real date and somehow, he really seemed to charm me. And for a while, I thought to myself that it was a good idea that I didn’t give up on him so easily; that I had given him a second chance. A few weeks went by and everything went so smoothly. I was so ready to double-down on my beliefs that older guys are definitely more mature than younger ones. Everything was going so great in our relationship and I did all the things that I told myself I never would.
I got attached. I got invested. I got really into it and I took things very seriously. And then he left. Just like that. He vanished from my life. He stopped talking to me. Later on, I would learn that he was still seeing his ex behind my back. And it’s from that experience where I learned that old age doesn’t always translate to maturity. You can find immaturity in young or old guys; and that’s just the sad truth of love.