Not every dying wish can be granted, especially if it involves your ex-lover.
A husband shared his dying wife’s wish to sleep with her ex on Reddit’s Relationship Advice forum and asked for people’s opinions. He also asked if he was TA for refusing to fulfill her last wish.
“I can’t have this tied to my main, but I really need to say something about it and have no one I can tell,” the OP wrote.
“My wife has a terminal disease. She is projected to live at most 9 months. I am of course destroyed. We’ve been together for a decade. I don’t remember life without her and I don’t know what I’m going to do when she’s gone. I have been doing my best to make the last days of her life good and grant whatever wish I can.”
The man explained that the doctors had told him she wouldn’t get better from now on, and things would only go downhill.
“The doctors said that she was likely to need a wheelchair in 4 or 5 months, then by month 8 she’ll be bedridden for the last few weeks. That’s if she doesn’t decline faster,” He continued.
“Recently she sat me down and told me that one of the last things she wanted to do was have sex with a previous partner of hers. I of course was shocked and when I asked why the fuck she wants that. So basically she thinks that her most physically compatible satisfying lover was him. She gave a whole monologue about how sex sometimes is just physical and how emotionally fulfilling sex is with me but it was b******t to get to that point.”
OP explained his disappointment with his wife and said he was not expecting that she would want to have sex with another man at this stage when he loves her and cares for her. He said he feels bad for wanting to say no and won’t feel good anyway as he wouldn’t be able to give her what she wants.
“So now I’m left with this, deny my dying wife a wish for my own ego, or let her go fuck another man who she feels was better. Honestly I’m so pissed of and betrayed that she asked this of me. I feel like I’m put in a position where I have to say yes because she’s dying,” he wrote.
“I know what I want to say, but I don’t know if that’s right. I’m so hurt that sex with an ex was apparently so good that she needs to do it once before she dies. I just hate everything about this,’” he added. “But the hypothetical ending would be that he said no.”
Redditors in the comment section sided with OP and said dying doesn’t justify cheating.
“If this is a real story, well then, just pack her stuff and let her live with her ex for the rest of her time,” wrote one.
“That’s super sketchy, as this seems to have been discussed behind OPs back. Death or not, we ain’t doing none of that. She kicked OP in the gut by basically saying “he’s better than you”. He’s doing good just by sticking around, because that’s bullshit,” a second said.
“If her dying wish was to murder a child, would we grant that wish? How about to go on safari and hunt an endangered animal? Or to rob a bank?” a third Redditor asked. “Dying wishes aren’t free passes for shitty behavior. If she’s committed to this course of action, then the relationship is over, and she can die alone in a hospice or with her f***boy.”
“NTA And no you don’t grant the wish I’m assuming she’s in a lot of pain and has to take pain medicine? We’ve all heard how people say and do things they wouldn’t normally do when taking certain medicines. If that’s not the case I’m so sorry. Still do not grant the wish,” said another.
Let us know your thoughts in the comments.
Source: Reddit
