I Don’t Need Mixed Signals From You; I Need You To Tell Me That You Want Me

I hate the ambiguity. I hate the uncertainty. I can’t deal with the anxiety.

The one thing that you have to know about me is that I’m a girl who is constantly looking for stability and consistency from my men. Consistency is really something that I require of the men I choose to get into relationships with. I can understand the initial hesitations that may come in early romances. That’s part of the deal. I don’t expect anyone to just dive into anything headfirst in a haste manner. But that doesn’t mean that I’m going to wait around forever for the men in my life to get their heads straight. I won’t allow myself to be kept on a string. It comes to a point where I really want to know just where I stand in the relationship. It gets to a point where I can find the security that I can need from the relationship.  

I’m not willingly going to devote huge bulks of my attention to a man who isn’t going to make me feel secure about my place in his life. I can’t be willing to make my world revolve around a man who doesn’t put me at the center of his own life. I can’t bet on a man who isn’t willing to go all-in with me. I’m not like that. When I get into relationships, I give all of myself to whoever I’m with; but I first need to know that that person is willing to give all of themselves to me in return.

I can’t allow myself to get with someone who isn’t looking to be in a long-term relationship. I’m so tired of short-term flings. I’m so tired of noncommittal relationships. I’m so fed up with men who aren’t about that committal life. I need to find for myself a man who isn’t afraid to lock himself down with me. I have found myself in the position of just having fun with a man too many times. I want something that’s more than just mere fun. I want a relationship that stretches beyond a mere couple of dates. I want a relationship that just isn’t all about the sex. I’m definitely ready for a long commitment and I need myself a man who is ready for the same thing. I’m not interested in getting with someone who isn’t going to be on the same page with me on this matter. I don’t’ want to waste my time with something that isn’t real anymore. He needs to have the focus, commitment, and dedication to make things work with me. Otherwise, I’d drop him like a hot potato and just move on to something better.

I am no longer going to settle for being a person’s second option. I adopt this policy because experience has taught me that the strongest relationships are those with people who actually know how to put the needs of their partners above their own. I don’t want to subject myself to being someone’s backup or fallback. I don’t want to be just one of the girls that a man is choosing to see at a given time. It’s either he is with me or not at all. It’s as simple as that. I’m tired of operating in the grey area. I no longer want any ambiguity in my relationships. I don’t want any blurred lines. I don’t want to have to fight for a man’s attention even if we’re supposedly in a relationship with one another.

It just really ticks a nerve whenever I find myself in that situation of not being secure about being with someone. I hate the ambiguity. I hate the uncertainty. I can’t deal with the anxiety. Life is stressful enough as it is. Love shouldn’t be so stressful. I don’t want to have to deal with the pressures that come with being with a guy who can never commit himself to me. I always make my expectations known upfront. And so it really bums me out whenever I discover that I’ve just wasted my time being with someone who had no intentions of ever meeting my expectations.

A lot of people might accuse me of having too high standards or having unreasonable expectations. But I don’t care. It’s my life. I’m the one who has to live it not them. If other people are content with being in noncommittal relationships that reek of mediocrity, so be it. But I refuse to subject myself to that kind of love life. I refuse to allow myself to settle for that kind of relationship.

At the end of the day, I know that the man who is worthy of being with me should be a man who doesn’t send me any mixed signals. I know that the man I deserve to be with is someone who is direct and is upfront. This is a man who isn’t afraid of just being with me outright; a man who would commit to me no matter what.

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