The truth is that he really wasn’t the kind of guy I usually would have fallen in love with. In fact, he was far from it. We were friends, and I was perfectly content with keeping things the way that they were. I was fine with where we were in our friendship. I wasn’t looking for anything more. I wasn’t seeking anything special. We were far too alike; and I felt like that wouldn’t really make for good romantic partnership at all. I assumed that maybe we weren’t different enough to be able to offset one another’s weaknesses. I felt like maybe we were too much like two peas in a pod.
But then no matter how hard I tried to fight how I felt, I couldn’t any longer. I just couldn’t stop myself from what was bound to happen. I couldn’t control fate. I couldn’t stop myself. I fell for him. And I knew it. I tried so hard to deny it for the longest time. But one day, I just came to terms with the truth. I was falling so hard for him; and I was doing so in a helpless manner. He looked my eyes and I felt like the sky was the limit. I was helpless; I was down for the count and I was drowning in my own emotions.
There was nothing special about that day that I fell for him. There was nothing significant in how he looked or how he acted. It was just much like any other day, really. And that’s when it really hit me. It was the love that I never saw coming; the kind of love that took me by surprise. On the outside looking in, I’m sure it looked almost uneventful. It looked boring. I’m sure that there were no sparks or fireworks. I’m sure that the birds weren’t singing in unison. I’m sure that there wasn’t a rainbow in the sign as the sun shone down on us. I’m pretty sure that the people watching us were just seeing two people hanging out – just like everyone else.
We might have even gone unnoticed in the eyes of many. We were blending into the backgrounds of other peoples’ lives. But with the two of us; it was amazing. It felt like nothing else existed anymore. It felt like the world ceased to exist and there was only the two of us. It felt like I was lost and he was the only one who managed to find me. He was such a sight to behold; and I don’t know if I looked the same for him. But I felt deep in my gut that this wasn’t normal. This wasn’t something I could just ignored. It wasn’t something that I was comfortable with,
but it wasn’t giving me any discomfort either. It was something new. It was something fresh. It was something that I wasn’t familiar with. It was something I never could have prepared myself for. It was something I never anticipated. It was a surprise – a very welcome one. Up until that point, I never really understood what it would mean to have someone’s heart be racing; as if it wanted to escape my own chest. But I felt it in that moment. I felt rapid pace that my heart was running and I felt like I was going to throw up. I thought I was going to get sick.
I was a living embodiment of all the clichés I have ever read about in books; the kind of stuff that I only ever saw in the movies. And it was weird because my heart was racing because of him; but then the moment that he looked at me straight into my eyes, I felt calmer; I felt more relaxed; I felt more like I was at home. I felt like he was my home. I really want to emphasize that these were things I never planned. This wasn’t something that I really wanted for myself. I didn’t force myself to fall for him the way that I did. And I’m pretty sure he wasn’t forcing the issue either.
I never made any moves on him. He didn’t make any moves on me. It took both of us by surprise. And so we both really didn’t know what to make of the situation. We both really couldn’t figure out what we should have been doing at that point. We just knew that things didn’t turn out the way that we planned; but everything still felt right. Everything still felt okay. Nothing felt like it was out of place. That’s when I discovered that sometimes, our plans have to take a backseat to the unexpected; because the unexpected might be better for us in the long run.