We are all guilty of this. We only ever really want to hear what we want to hear. We only ever see what we want to see. We only ever really believe what we want to believe. And that’s wrong. That’s always the wrong mindset to have. We must always be open-minded enough to accept the truth; even when it’s something that we don’t necessarily like. Sometimes, we get so emotionally invested in certain thoughts and beliefs that we find it hard to detach from them when evidence is telling us to believe otherwise. This is why a lot of people get their hearts broken in a relationship.
They allow themselves to grow attached to something that they never should have been attaching themselves to in the first place. If a guy tells you outright that he’s not really looking for a serious relationship, then you should believe him. Walk away. Don’t get sucked into that whole. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you’re going to be able to change his mind. Don’t be so naïve so as to assume that you’re going to be the one girl who makes him want to commit. Because if he’s decided on not committing to you, then it’s probably because he’s not in the right emotional state to be in a relationship at all and you need to accept that.
Yes, he’s laying the ground rules early on and you might just be thinking that he’s merely making excuses. Perhaps you think that he’s just trying to protect himself. But the fact of the matter is that he’s letting you know upfront that he’s not serious about you – and that’s him actually doing you a favor. Whether or not you let him play you after that is completely your fault. He was honest at the start and you just refused to listen to him. Of course, you can take your chances and think that he’s eventually going to change his mind. You might have the kind of confidence that leads you to believe that you have what it takes to make him want to commit.
Maybe you’re great enough a woman to be able to convince him that a serious relationship is exactly what he needs right now. But then again, you can only control so much of the situation. A bulk of the control still lies on him. It’s still up to him whether he wants to commit to you or not. And you can’t blame him for your own failures. You can’t blame him for your incapability to change his mind. And besides, even if he does eventually change his stance on commitment, why would you want to sit around and wait for him to do so? Why would you want to be passive about it?
Why would you be so willing to waste your time on a guy who isn’t even a sure thing? You’re being selfish. You’re being selfish both to him and to yourself and you need to be better. You can’t pressure him like that. And you deserve to be with someone who also wants to be with you right in that moment. There’s no need for you to be putting your own life on pause just because he’s still trying to figure his life out on his own. He might even be attaching his horse to multiple wagons at this point. He might be dating other people and you’re just going to end up as another one of his options.
You don’t want to be prioritizing a man who is only considering you to be an option. You deserve better than that. You deserve to be with someone who consciously chooses to be with you every day. You don’t want to live a life of anxiety; constantly being worried about a man who might wake up one day and choose to be with another person instead of yourself. When you fall in love, you deserve to do so with someone who is really ready to commit to you; someone you can rely on to be there for you in the good times and bad.
At the end of the day, love isn’t something that you can force. You can’t force him to fall in love with you if he just doesn’t want to. You can’t force him to commit to you if he just feels like he isn’t ready for it yet. You can’t force him to be with you forever when he doesn’t even know where he’s going to be in the next month. You should have safety and security in love; and those are just two things that he’s unable to give you. And he might be giving you a blessing in disguise when he says that he doesn’t want anything serious. He’s letting you off the hook. He’s saving you from potential pain and disappointment.
We are all guilty of this. We only ever really want to hear what we want to hear. We only ever see what we want to see. We only ever really believe what we want to believe. And that’s wrong. That’s always the wrong mindset to have. We must always be open-minded enough to accept the truth; even when it’s something that we don’t necessarily like. Sometimes, we get so emotionally invested in certain thoughts and beliefs that we find it hard to detach from them when evidence is telling us to believe otherwise. This is why a lot of people get their hearts broken in a relationship. They allow themselves to grow attached to something that they never should have been attaching themselves to in the first place.
If a guy tells you outright that he’s not really looking for a serious relationship, then you should believe him. Walk away. Don’t get sucked into that whole. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you’re going to be able to change his mind. Don’t be so naïve so as to assume that you’re going to be the one girl who makes him want to commit. Because if he’s decided on not committing to you, then it’s probably because he’s not in the right emotional state to be in a relationship at all and you need to accept that.
Yes, he’s laying the ground rules early on and you might just be thinking that he’s merely making excuses. Perhaps you think that he’s just trying to protect himself. But the fact of the matter is that he’s letting you know upfront that he’s not serious about you – and that’s him actually doing you a favor. Whether or not you let him play you after that is completely your fault. He was honest at the start and you just refused to listen to him. Of course, you can take your chances and think that he’s eventually going to change his mind.
You might have the kind of confidence that leads you to believe that you have what it takes to make him want to commit. Maybe you’re great enough a woman to be able to convince him that a serious relationship is exactly what he needs right now. But then again, you can only control so much of the situation. A bulk of the control still lies on him. It’s still up to him whether he wants to commit to you or not. And you can’t blame him for your own failures. You can’t blame him for your incapability to change his mind.
And besides, even if he does eventually change his stance on commitment, why would you want to sit around and wait for him to do so? Why would you want to be passive about it? Why would you be so willing to waste your time on a guy who isn’t even a sure thing? You’re being selfish. You’re being selfish both to him and to yourself and you need to be better. You can’t pressure him like that. And you deserve to be with someone who also wants to be with you right in that moment. There’s no need for you to be putting your own life on pause just because he’s still trying to figure his life out on his own.
He might even be attaching his horse to multiple wagons at this point. He might be dating other people and you’re just going to end up as another one of his options. You don’t want to be prioritizing a man who is only considering you to be an option. You deserve better than that. You deserve to be with someone who consciously chooses to be with you every day. You don’t want to live a life of anxiety; constantly being worried about a man who might wake up one day and choose to be with another person instead of yourself. When you fall in love, you deserve to do so with someone who is really ready to commit to you; someone you can rely on to be there for you in the good times and bad.
At the end of the day, love isn’t something that you can force. You can’t force him to fall in love with you if he just doesn’t want to. You can’t force him to commit to you if he just feels like he isn’t ready for it yet. You can’t force him to be with you forever when he doesn’t even know where he’s going to be in the next month. You should have safety and security in love; and those are just two things that he’s unable to give you. And he might be giving you a blessing in disguise when he says that he doesn’t want anything serious. He’s letting you off the hook. He’s saving you from potential pain and disappointment.
