The ball is in your court now. It’s all up to you. She’s just waiting in the wings for you to actually go and get her. She’s too scared to be upfront about how much she wants to be with you. She doesn’t want to come off too strong. She doesn’t want to make it seem like she’s desperate to have you. She doesn’t want to put too much pressure on you at the risk of driving you away. She doesn’t want to mess everything up with her lack of restraint. She wants so desperately to make a move on you but she knows that she can’t. She knows that she has to wait for you. She knows that she has to be patient. And it’s slowly killing her inside with every passing minute that you don’t make a move on her. She’s worried. She’s scared that you’ve lost interest in her. She’s paranoid. She’s afraid that she might have lost you forever. And she’s killing herself by overthinking everything. And she can’t help it. She wants to make sure that she still has a shot at being with you.
She doesn’t want to – but she breaks. She can’t handle it. She sends you a text message even though her better judgement is telling her otherwise. She wants to see how you’re doing; she wants to know why you haven’t reached out to her yet. But then, her texts fall on deaf ears and dead fingers. She doesn’t get a response from you – and she realizes that she has caused even more anxiety for herself. She realizes that she has dug for herself a new low. She stresses herself out thinking about what she could have done wrong. But then you finally decide to throw her a bone and you respond to her message. You tell her that you were busy and that’s why you couldn’t reach out to her; that you’ve had so much on your plate and that’s why you’ve been keeping to yourself as of late. And she’s tired. Her heart sinks when she hears this from you because really – how much effort does it take to send out a single text? How much time would I take to send out a measly reply? She is so tired of having to be the one who tries to keep the relationship going. She is tired of having to be the one who is vulnerable. She is tired of putting her insecurities on full display while you get to sit pretty and guarded. She is tired of being the one who always has to get her hands dirty. She hates that you don’t seem to want to make time for her even though she’s willing to move mountains for you.
She really doesn’t get why she’s the one who has to put in the effort for the both of you. She doesn’t understand why you seem totally unwilling to meet her halfway. She doesn’t understand why she has to be the one who carries the relationship for both of you. She’s tired of it. She’s exhausted. She is bent and broken. She doesn’t know what to do anymore. She doesn’t know who to be or how to act. She doesn’t know where she has to go from here. She feels lost and she needs you to be the one who tells her where you’re headed because she has no idea anymore. She fights so hard to be a priority in your life but you never seem to show any signs of caring. You shut her hopes down by not responding to her; by not giving her anything to work with. She hates that you don’t do or say anything to let her know that you really want her there in your life. And she has a right to be upset; if you really want her to be with you, then you need to tell her.
A relationship needs two invested individuals if it’s going to function the way that it should. It takes two to tango, as they say. If at least one if you isn’t giving your all, then you are essentially headed for doom. Your relationship isn’t going to last. If you genuinely want to be with her, then you can’t afford to be coy about it. If you really want things to last with her, then you can’t afford to be playing it cool.
Stop playing games with her. Stop hiding behind the curtains of indifference and disinterest. Stop making it seem like you don’t care even though you do. Stop acting as if you don’t think much of her even though you’re desperate to be with her forever. If you love her, tell her. If you want her to be with you, then fight for her. If you feel her slipping away from you, then hold on for dear life.
