Yes. It’s difficult. And no. You’re not alone.
Yes. It’s difficult. And no. You’re not alone. You aren’t the only one who is bearing the struggle that you’re going through. You try to look back and see just how maybe you could have done things differently to force a better outcome. You wonder about the many scenarios in your relationship where maybe you could have tried harder. You think about the many words that you said that you wish you could now take back. You desperately try to seek for an answer that you know you’re never going to find.
You wonder about why your efforts just didn’t seem to be enough. You don’t understand just how this person could take you for granted. You wonder why this person just couldn’t grow to see the kind of value that you added to the table. But this is the mistake that you’re making right now. You’re choosing to let this person cripple you into staying where you are right now even when you should be moving on.
Of course. It’s easier said than done. It’s hard to get back to a place of happiness and stability when the person you love most in this world just chooses to get up and leave. You gave a huge chunk of your heart to this person. It’s a perfectly acceptable response for you to feel devastated when they leave you behind to fend for yourself. It doesn’t even matter that you know that this person was bad for you and the relationship was a toxic one. There was a point in the romance where you were heavily invested in one another and you just can’t fathom how you could go from there to where you are now. When you choose to end the relationship, you’re essentially saying that you give up on one another – and as human beings, we are ashamed at the thought of giving up. It’s weak. It’s our stubbornness and our resilience that keeps us from ending a relationship we know to be bad for us.
For the longest time, we’ve always been told that “we deserve better” and that “we don’t have to settle for that kind of partner” in a relationship. But we refuse to listen. Why is that? You already know that you do deserve better. You know that you aren’t being treated the way that you should be treated. You know that you’re not getting the love that you deserve to be getting. But still, you stay in the relationship. You cling to the hope that reality is a lie and that maybe, a real change is going to come. You tell yourself that patience is a virtue and that you can’t walk away from something that has the potential to be something special. You tell yourself that maybe, if you endure the pain just a little bit longer, you will get what you want.