At the beginning of any new relationship, it’s going to be practically impossible to pretend that neither of you has ever been intimate with someone else before. It’s very rare that a contemporary adult would have no experience in dating and relationships these days. And for the most part, it should be okay to talk about exes and past relationships.
In fact, those kinds of discussions should be encouraged so as to promote openness and transparency in a relationship. However, there are limits as well. You have to know the boundaries. You have to know your limitations. There are just some things that you shouldn’t be telling your new guy about. And here are a few of them: Things guys commonly lie about can range from their past relationships to their financial status. Many feel pressured to present themselves in a certain way, fearing that honesty might jeopardize their chances in the relationship. Understanding these tendencies can help navigate conversations and foster a deeper connection.
1. Avoid making any direct comparisons with how they handle things.
Avoid making any direct comparisons between your ex and your current partner particularly with the way that they handle certain situations. For instance, when you’re not pleased with the way your new beau does something, don’t criticize him by saying, “This is how my ex always used to do it…”
2. A vacation or trip that he might have taken you on.
You never want to have your new boyfriend having mental pictures of you and your ex on a fun getaway to wherever. You can casually mention that you’ve traveled but make sure to never go into any specifics about those trips that you used to take together.
3. The size of his…. Junior.
This is a struggle that many new relationships are always going to have to face: the fact that partners have had intimate histories with other people. And when you’re still in a new relationship, you will want to limit the discomfort of such a topic as much as possible. So just avoid anything pertaining to your intimate history for now. And make sure to NEVER talk about the size of your ex’s “mini-me”. Another common issue is the tendency to drift into topics that can lead to misunderstandings, such as discussing past relationships too deeply. These first date conversation pitfalls can create unnecessary tension and should be navigated carefully. Instead, focus on light-hearted subjects that foster connection and enjoyment.
4. The amount of money he made.
This is especially true if your ex made a lot of money in his career. It would be safe to assume that since you’re in a new relationship, you don’t really know how much money your guy makes. And you don’t want him to feel threatened by mentioning how much money your ex used to make. That might bring about a lot of insecurities.
