1. The constant monitoring of your every movement in life.
You are the owner of your own life. You should get to decide how you’re going to live it. Just because you get into a relationship with a guy doesn’t mean that you’re going to have to relinquish control of your life to him entirely. Sure, you need to accommodate him into your life somewhat; but that doesn’t mean that he gets to call the shots all of the time. You should still be able to maintain your independence without having someone hovering over your every move. You want a partner; not a babysitter.
2. Demeaning insults and condescending treatment.
Why would you ever want to be in a relationship with someone who just makes you feel bad and insecure al of the time? When you are in a loving relationship, your partner should always be lifting you up and making you feel better about who you are. He shouldn’t be subjecting you to his verbal torment. He shouldn’t be pointing out your insecurities just to make you feel bad.
3. A reluctance to meet your friends and family.
If he’s really serious about being with you, he should always be open to the idea of meeting the important people in your life. And if he isn’t, then that shows a lack of commitment and effort on his part.
4. Unfounded accusations of your infidelity.
You shouldn’t have to put up with an incredibly insecure man who just constantly accuses you of cheating on him even when he doesn’t have any proof of it. If he is always accusing you of being unfaithful, it’s either he doesn’t trust you, or he doesn’t respect himself enough to think that he’s worthy of you. And those are two very problematic things that you shouldn’t have to put up with.
And of course, the same way you don’t deserve a man who constantly accuses you of being unfaithful, you don’t deserve a man who is unfaithful himself. He shouldn’t be sleeping or flirting around with other women if he’s in a committed relationship with you. You really shouldn’t be settling for a guy who can’t just commit to being with you and you alone.
6. Control over how you spend your money.
You earn your money. You should get to decide how you’re going to spend it. Yes, down the line, you’re going to have to consult one another when it comes to major financial decisions. But just because you’re together doesn’t mean that you have to relinquish control over your finances to him. He doesn’t have that right. You work hard for what you have.
7. Substandard effort in your relationship.
Relationships always require a lot of hard work and commitment; and you can’t be the only one who is willing to work for your love. He has to be willing to do the same. He has to be willing to give just as much as you are.
8. Physical or emotional abuse.
There should be no room for abuse in any form or in any degree in a relationship. If you have a guy who is abusive, then you need to just walk away from him. That’s a very toxic situation that you don’t deserve to be a part of. In fact, do yourself a favor and just dump him. It isn’t good for your well-being for you to be subjected to another person’s abuse.
9. A refusal to help out with daily chores and errands.
It’s a partnership; and yet, why do you feel like you’re carrying the brunt of the load? Why is it that you seem the only one who is working hard in the relationship? He should be willing to assume responsibilities for certain tasks and errands as well. It’s part of being a mature and responsible adult.
10. An unwillingness to give you what you need in the bedroom.
He’s selfish – and you can’t be in a relationship with a guy in a relationship. Sure, sex is just one aspect of the relationship. But if he isn’t willing to be generous with you in that regard, then that’s a sign that he isn’t going to be generous with you in other areas of the relationship as well. You need a guy who is constantly thinking of your needs; a guy who is willing to adjust for you.
Any guy who threatens to leave you unless you treat him a certain way is a guy who doesn’t love you; and he’s definitely not a guy who is worth being with at all. You should never have to put up with someone who compels you to be a certain way; a guy who uses your relationship as some kind of bargaining chip. He is holding your relationship as hostage; and that’s never how it should be. That’s not what unconditional love looks like at all.