An unfaithful man is going to cheat on you. That’s just how it works. When your man cheats on you, it can often feel like the entire world as you know it has been turned upside down. And naturally, you are going to want to immediately think of ways to fix the mess that you have somehow found yourself in. You begin to dissect your relationship and you try to think of the probable reasons that your guy found his way into the arms of another woman. You go with whatever solution you can draw up just to get them back to you. And you have just got to stop doing that.
Again, an unfaithful man is just going to cheat on you. It’s not something that just took place by accident. He didn’t unintentionally engage in unfaithful acts without his knowledge. He’s not drugged. He isn’t drunk. He isn’t mentally unfit to make his own decisions for himself. He cheated on you because that’s just the way that his personality has wired him to act. That’s just who he is. This is especially true if he shows little to no remorse for cheating on you. And you can’t just think that he cheated on you because there are certain problems in your relationship. All relationships have problems. But why is it that not all couples have to deal with unfaithfulness and infidelity? No. These problems may have somehow contributed to his decision to cheat on you; but ultimately, it’s still a decision that he made on his own. Cheating is not a normal reaction to having hurdles, challenges, and misgivings in a relationship. And you really shouldn’t be blaming yourself for any of it. It’s not on you to try and fix things.
So stop torturing yourself right now. Stop blaming yourself for everything that has taken place in your relationship. Yes, everything is so overwhelming right now. You feel like the situation that you are in has pinned you down and you so desperately want to pick yourself up. But you feel helpless. You want to be doing something and yet you don’t know what to do. Take a step back and breathe. Don’t be rash. Don’t be so quick to do anything because you might not be thinking straight just yet. You might not be in the right emotional state to be making the right choices for yourself. And when that’s the case, just breathe for a bit. You don’t want to make the same mistakes that millions of women all over the world are prone to making when they get cheated on.
Mistake No. 1: Playing the Role of Detective
Don’t go into an all-out investigation as you try to figure out whether your man has cheated on you or not. If you’re feeling uncomfortable in your relationship, then there’s a problem that is inherent there regardless if whether your guy is cheating on you or not. And if the evidence that just happens to come your way makes everything so overwhelmingly obvious, there’s no need for you to launch an investigation into the matter. Confront your man about it and present to him what you know and how you feel. Call him out on his infidelity and let him know that you’re not going stand for it. You don’t have to have all the details to know that you’re not happy with the way things are.
Mistake No. 2: Placing the Blame on the Third Party
Sure, the third-party may be to blame especially if that person is someone who is close to you or someone you at least know. But at the end of the day, the lot of the blame is on your partner. He is the one who made the decision to cheat on you after all. He is the one who acted in bad faith in your relationship. And he is the one who is accountable to you.
Mistake No. 3: Changing Who You Are Just to Keep Him
Okay, first of all, you should never feel compelled to change the fundamentals of your being for any kind of relationship. That’s just foolish and self-deprecating. You should always be able to maintain your independence in your relationship. And most of all, you should always be making sure to maintain your dignity and sense of self-respect. You shouldn’t be changing who you are just to keep someone in your life – especially when that person happens to be a lying and cheating scumbag who has no regard for your feelings at all. You shouldn’t have to be the one who adjusts in this relationship because you are not the one who is at fault. He is the one who screwed up and he has to pay penance if he still wants a shot at being with you. You shouldn’t have to be the one who kills yourself just to keep him in your life.