I once tried merely being someone’s second option. It sucked, I can tell you that much. I was once a girl that a guy just ended up settling for because I was the convenient choice. I was once that girl a guy decided to be with because there really wasn’t any other option available to him. And believe me when I tell you that allowing myself to be put in that position was one of the worst decisions I have ever made in my life.
Yes, I loved him. I loved him with all of my heart. I can firmly say that I loved him to the best of my abilities. But at the ack of my mind, I always knew that he really didn’t care for me as much as I would’ve wanted them to. He didn’t really love me the way that I deserved to be loved. And that stung me for the longest time. But I chose to ignore the pain. I was okay with it because I thought that being a guy’s second option was better than not being an option at all.
I was so wrong.
That is definitely not an experience I am ever going to want to find myself in ever again. That’s the kind of situation that I wish no one would ever have to go through in their lives. I never want to be a guy’s second option for as long as I live. And for that reason, I want you to know that if you don’t love me, then you might as well just leave me alone. If you’re not crazy about me, then just move on to whoever you’re crazy about.
I’m not having it. I am not allowing myself to go through that pain for as long as I can help it.
I’ve learned that true love; the kind that makes you feel happy and fulfilled, is always going to be a two-way street. I’ve learned that true love must always be an equal exchange. I have learned that true love must always be a healthy dynamic of giv and take.
The both of you must always make it a point of being on the same page if you want to find success in your relationships. You can’t think that it’s healthy for you to be giving all of your love to someone while you only get half of that love in return. Yes, you should love someone without expectations. But that doesn’t mean that you should be okay with getting a half-assed kind of love from the person you’re in a relationship with.
There’s just no point in forcing yourself to be in that kind of relationship. You’re only going to be prolonging the inevitable crashing and burning of your romance. And you will have nothing but a broken heart to show for it when it’s all said and done.
I am not going to want to waste my time on you if all you are going to do is fantasize and daydream about all the other girls that you would rather be with. Relationships are emotional investments. And I don’t want to invest in someone who isn’t fully invested in me. I don’t want to place my bets on a person who doesn’t even consider me to be their best bet in the first place.
I don’t want to end up as a placeholder for when until someone better comes along. I am so much more than just someone’s consolation prize. I can’t be the girl that someone settles for when he fails with someone else.
I understand the pain that you’re going through. You couldn’t make things work with the girl you wanted to end up being with. You thought in your heart that you would be soulmates but you just couldn’t get it to go your way. But you shouldn’t be taking that on me. I don’t deserve to be your collateral damage. If you feel like you have been hurt and let down, then I shouldn’t have to play a role in that.
Maybe you should just stay single until you actually meet the person you’re truly meant to be with. Don’t be so quick to fill that void with the next girl you see. Because at the end of the day, you’re just going to feel unfulfilled. And once you realize that, you’re going to end up breaking her innocent little heart as well.
So, please. I beg of you. If you don’t love me, just leave me alone. If I’m not your priority, then just go ahead and walk out of my life. Don’t get my hopes up. Don’t waste my time. Don’t lead me down this road to destruction.
If you can’t find it in your heart to love me the way that I should truly be loved, then please just leave me the hell alone.