Sometimes, it’s not easy to spot narcissistic people as they might not show obvious signs. They aren’t all like the stereotypical self-absorbed gym-goers or mean girls you see in movies. In fact, many narcissists can initially seem sensitive, kind, and giving – until their true colors show. That’s why it’s crucial to recognize the subtle hints of narcissism that may not become clear until it’s too late and you’re caught up in their self-centered world.
Difference Between an Overt and Covert Narcissist
People often associate narcissists with extroverted personalities who crave attention, making them easy to spot. However, introverts can also be narcissists, and they can be quite deceptive. You might think they’re just sensitive or misunderstood, but after getting close to a covert narcissist, you realize that their apparent sensitivity and isolation were actually signs of their narcissism. Because these signs weren’t as clear, it’s easy to misjudge the situation and get caught up in their manipulation.
Identifying a covert narcissist can be challenging because they are skilled at concealing their abusive behavior. Therefore, it’s crucial to recognize the subtle signs that can reveal their true nature.
1. They’ll Never Utter the Phrase “I Don’t Know”
Some people with narcissistic traits avoid saying “I don’t know” because it makes them feel like they’re losing attention. They’d rather give wrong answers confidently to keep the focus on themselves. That’s why they frequently talk about subjects they have limited knowledge of.
2. They’re a Bad Friend
Narcissists might not be good friends, but they often act like they’re the ones who’ve been wronged. To spot signs of narcissism, watch for these red flags: They get annoyed when friends ask for help, forget birthdays and holidays, don’t return borrowed things (showing entitlement), owe friends money, and embarrass them in front of others. They might even flirt with their friends’ partners or love interests.
3. They Have to Insert Themselves into Every Story
Covert narcissists may not openly seek attention, but they still make everything about them. They do this by joining any conversation and sharing their own similar experiences. For instance, if someone talks about being homeless, the narcissist will talk about their past hardships. If a friend shares a great trip, they’ll mention someone who had a less enjoyable trip. They have a way of turning any discussion back to themselves, even in simple conversations.
4. They Form Relationships Based on What Someone Can “Do for Them”
If you’re at a party and someone you think might be a narcissist suggests you talk to someone for career or financial help, be wary. They aren’t genuinely trying to help you; they’re showing their self-centered motives. Narcissists often form surface-level friendships with people who can offer them benefits like money, business opportunities, or social connections. They might even befriend toxic individuals just for these advantages. So, when they make such recommendations, remember it’s usually about their own interests, not yours.
5. Their Stories Don’t Match Reality
Both overt and covert narcissists have an overly high opinion of themselves. They genuinely believe their own false stories. The tricky part is they often remember events very differently than what actually happened. If you notice the person frequently changes stories to make themselves look like the hero or the victim, be cautious – this is a sign of narcissism. By twisting the story to match their version, the narcissist is making others doubt their own memories. It’s not enjoyable or amusing to keep correcting them. Sooner or later, they might do the same to you.
Have you spotted any of these secret signs of narcissism in your life? Share your experiences and insights in the comments below.
